Evening all.
Being the nostalgic sausage that I am, I decided to look back on the things I learnt in 2015. And they're pretty much still useful a year on. With the odd adjustment here and there, they could easily be life tips. If what you wanted to do with your life was not annoy your housemates and avoid becoming Catholic.
But I've been pondering. Many of you will have seen my last post, claiming that I didn't learn much in 2016, and it's sadly true that there were no great revelations regarding pumpkin vampires, or locking the bathroom door. But did I learn anything in 2016 that contradicts what I learnt in 2015? Time to find out:
According to my flatmate, food (specifically a kebab) is better than sex
Said flatmate still believes this, as far as I know. The kebabs really weren't that good.
It's not the ringers that smell of the tower, it's the tower that smells of the ringersStill true.
Vegan cooking can be super easyThe key word here is can. It can also reeeeeaaaally easily go super wrong....
Lock the door when you're in the bath
Since learning this, nobody has walked in on me in the bathroom.
(I may have forgotten this once or twice, but Daniel is a gentleman, and still nobody has walked in on me in the bathroom...)
Tea and sympathy get you a long way
Just make sure it's the way you want to go.
If you reach the age of 30 in north Germany without getting married, you have to sweep the steps of the Rathaus until a young lady comes along and kisses you
Well, we're going to find out this year, when Daniel turns 30...
"If it ends in 'e' it's probably 'die'" is a lie.
Still a lie.
If you lose one of your Beavers, they are probably in the tent
Still true.
You will get on better with your friends during a four day hike than you will ever in your life again. Ever.
I still get on better with these friends than I ever did previously. I think that working together like that makes it really easy to understand people. And everything we've done since then has been easy in comparison. So, I guess we're just stuck with each other for life now.
That's it I guess. Everything else on the list is either so obviously true it doesn't need repeating, or could possibly need reassessing in the future. But for now, I'm going to let sleeping dogs lie.
This is quite a short post, but I don't really have a lot to say. I just wanted to see whether I was still learning new things.
Emmatt update: Haven't done one of these in a while because there's very little to report. Matt and I are still together (3.5 years in February), and we're still making long distance work through a combination of phone calls, texting, and total, unquestioning trust. There's a plan in the pipeline to try and move in together once I've graduated, but money (as ever) is the key thing holding us back. And anyway, who knows what things will be like in six months' time?
Saturday, 4 February 2017
Friday, 20 January 2017
Things I Didn't Learn In 2016
It's that time of year again when I usually write a list of comical things I have learnt in the past twelve months. Sadly, as we all know, 2016 was not the happiest of years, either nationally, internationally, or for me personally. So I'm afraid that, whilst I learnt a lot last year, writing it all into a blog post would not be very funny, or interesting to read.
My original plan was to write a vitriolic and aggressively ironic list of "things I didn't learn in 2016", to include things like "democracy works" and "people with beards have problems", but I thought that was still rather depressing, and unhealthy way to spend my time. Instead, I am going to summarise my year in songs. Some of them are great, some of them are terrible, and at least one is the Vengaboys. I'm not sorry. I'm also sparing no apology for the fact that this is another blog post about music; music is a massive part of my life, and I wouldn't be who I am without it. Equally, I measure a lot of things by songs, so I feel it's fitting.
January: Where Were You Last Night - The Travelling Wilburys
Apart from being a fantastic song, from a band I may have been a little obsessed with last year, it includes the lines "Where were you last year? You sure as hell weren't here". I find this highly appropriate for the entire of 2016, as I was on my year abroad. Arriving back in Braunschweig after spending Christmas at home was a strange feeling, but I was glad to be back. Equally, living in Braunschweig for less than a year in total meant that I only experienced each month once. Therefore, this song seemed incredibly fitting to describe a new year in a different country.
February: We Like To Party - The Vengaboys
I suppose I should finally explain this. In February 2016, Helen and I went to visit Jordan in Dusseldorf on Karneval weekend. This was accidental great planning on our part, and we had a fantastic weekend celebrating and watching National Treasure. But, of course, this was us, so it wasn't exactly a standard Karneval weekend. We spent most of the weekend in Jordan's room playing The Vengaboys at Helen every time she walked into the room. Naturally, we went out to party in the streets with everyone else (because "we like to party"), but it was mostly an excuse to see each other.
March: Poing - Rotterdam Termination Source
This is the most ridiculous song I was introduced to last year. I have included it for March, even though I first heard in June or July, because Daniel, James and I went to the Netherlands. After a few days in Amsterdam, Daniel left us to go home to his family for Easter, and James and I travelled on to Rotterdam. We met some lovely, but mad, people in our hostel and explored the city to the best of our ability. It was a fantastic weekend, and it was fun to spend time with people I like when we weren't fighting over whose turn it was to carry the shopping, or what colour trousers Gillian should wear.
April: The Battle Hymn of the Republic - William Steffe
"He jumped without a parachute from forty thousand feet, And he ain't gonna jump no mo-oo-oore." Or something like that. There needed to be a hymn in this list somewhere, because I have relied heavily on my relationship with God over the last twelve months; praying for everything from my family to the future of the world. I flew back to the UK for two different Queen's Scout Award ceremonies last April, including the parade for St George's Day at Windsor Castle, where we sang a heavily altered version of this. It was fantastic, but a massive disappointment as far as meeting famous people was concerned. Some old lady had her birthday that weekend, so lots of people were busy.
May: Vienna - Ultravox
Guess where I went in May?
Indeed, I did go to Austria with Jordan, and we did stay in the capital city. We went on the fantastically named Christi Himmelfahrt, which is another Bank Holiday that we don't have in England. Sadly, Helen got glandular fever/mono (HAHAHAHAHAAAAA) and couldn't come (sad). But Jordan and I still went and hung out with Emily who came back to Vienna to see us for the weekend. Spending time with people who have no expectations except having a bit of a moan about the state of the world and the poor module choices for fourth year was really enjoyable. And we didn't sing the Vengaboys for the entire weekend either, so not having Helen there was just the gift that kept on giving...
June: Just - Radiohead
Ugh.
I couldn't write a list of music that influenced 2016 without mentioning Radiohead, sadly. They had a new album out in the summer last year, which I am informed by a Radiohead fan (such things exist) is really good. Personally, I thought it sounded like sentimental teen rubbish. So instead of making anyone suffer through it, I am putting Just in this list, as it is half decent, and doesn't fade into the background of "meh" that tends to encompass Radiohead for me.
I apologise to anyone who actually likes Radiohead, but I am almost entirely indifferent to their music.
July: Over London Skies - Orchestra
"Another Goodbye Airport" faced me in July, as I moved out of my flat in Braunschweig for good, and left behind a life I truly miss. For a while, I thought my sentimentality was for a version of myself that couldn't be replicated, and friends I didn't want to lose. Six months down the line, I realise that neither of these is quite true. Life in Braunschweig allowed me to be a proper grown up for the first time, and I really did make some fantastic friends that I wish I could see more often. But I really do miss Germany. There are just some intrinsically German things that I wish I could get back to. I'll go back one day.
August: Ms Jackson - Outkast
Blame Matt. He is to blame for this terrible, terrible choice. And for the singing you've all had to endure since I came back to uni.
This song. Right. This song.
It's so funny if you sing the lyrics in the cartoon to the tune of the song. And if I were even a little bit sorry for singing "I AM FOUR EEEEELS" at all hours of the day to poor, unsuspecting Declan, then I would "apologise a trillion times" to my housemates, my neighbours, Matt and everyone else who's been subjected to this.
September: The Boys Are Back In Town -Thin Lizzy
OK, so number one, this is an amazing song. Anyone who tells you otherwise probably likes Radiohead. Lame.
Secondly, I came back to uni in November. It was great to see all my wonderful friends again, as well as Ute the Tutor and the other remaining German Department staff (of which there were about three.) I'd love to say that I felt at home coming back to Nottingham, as if I actually belong here. That would be a total lie. However, I do feel like this is my place. Nobody can make me feel like I don't belong here. I think it's just because I know the place so well. I have a right to be here.
Plus everyone got back from their years abroad at the same time. So, you know, "The boys are back in town".
October: California Man - Roy Wood
In October I met Roy Wood. I wrote about it on this blog, and it was really the highlight of the month. He was a very pleasant man, and he signed a copy of our painting. I wasn't sure which song to include from Roy, so I've included this one for two reasons. One: I am reclaiming it. Two: It's the opening to the set, as you can see in the video, and it really psyches the audience up for the rest of the show. Even though Roy himself is actually from Birmingham, you really feel like he means it when he sings. And sometimes you just have to think "I don't care if my legs start aching" and do it anyway! Plus, you know, amazing saxophones.
November: Heaven Can Wait - Meat Loaf
Matt is to blame for this one as well, I'm afraid. In November, Matt found out that the Bat Out Of Hell musical is on stage in the West End next year, so we're going to see it because I love Meat Loaf and Matt is the best boyfriend ever. The reason I have chosen this, rather than something like Paradise By The Dashboard Light or something is because November was quite difficult for me, and I listened to this song a lot. But I also went to Oxford and saw Alice and Ben and David, and that was awesome, because they are all clearly so happy, and that's such a lovely thing to see.
Another reason is that I look like (long-haired) Meat Loaf when I wear a suit sometimes. It's like we're soulmates. Except that he's American.
December: Rabbit - Chas N Dave
In December I saw Roy Wood in concert again. To be honest, it was a little boring, seeing the same set twice in two months. I went with Jordan, and I think both of us were more excited to see Chas and Dave, who were also performing live. Unfortunately, Chas and Dave only performed about three songs, which was not enough for us. But we still had a lovely time, and visited the Birmingham Christmas Market at the same time.
So that's it I guess. Obviously, there are more songs I could mention, but I don't want to.
Happy "new" year. I hope this has been more interesting that me grumbling on...
My original plan was to write a vitriolic and aggressively ironic list of "things I didn't learn in 2016", to include things like "democracy works" and "people with beards have problems", but I thought that was still rather depressing, and unhealthy way to spend my time. Instead, I am going to summarise my year in songs. Some of them are great, some of them are terrible, and at least one is the Vengaboys. I'm not sorry. I'm also sparing no apology for the fact that this is another blog post about music; music is a massive part of my life, and I wouldn't be who I am without it. Equally, I measure a lot of things by songs, so I feel it's fitting.
January: Where Were You Last Night - The Travelling Wilburys
Apart from being a fantastic song, from a band I may have been a little obsessed with last year, it includes the lines "Where were you last year? You sure as hell weren't here". I find this highly appropriate for the entire of 2016, as I was on my year abroad. Arriving back in Braunschweig after spending Christmas at home was a strange feeling, but I was glad to be back. Equally, living in Braunschweig for less than a year in total meant that I only experienced each month once. Therefore, this song seemed incredibly fitting to describe a new year in a different country.
February: We Like To Party - The Vengaboys
I suppose I should finally explain this. In February 2016, Helen and I went to visit Jordan in Dusseldorf on Karneval weekend. This was accidental great planning on our part, and we had a fantastic weekend celebrating and watching National Treasure. But, of course, this was us, so it wasn't exactly a standard Karneval weekend. We spent most of the weekend in Jordan's room playing The Vengaboys at Helen every time she walked into the room. Naturally, we went out to party in the streets with everyone else (because "we like to party"), but it was mostly an excuse to see each other.
March: Poing - Rotterdam Termination Source
This is the most ridiculous song I was introduced to last year. I have included it for March, even though I first heard in June or July, because Daniel, James and I went to the Netherlands. After a few days in Amsterdam, Daniel left us to go home to his family for Easter, and James and I travelled on to Rotterdam. We met some lovely, but mad, people in our hostel and explored the city to the best of our ability. It was a fantastic weekend, and it was fun to spend time with people I like when we weren't fighting over whose turn it was to carry the shopping, or what colour trousers Gillian should wear.
April: The Battle Hymn of the Republic - William Steffe
"He jumped without a parachute from forty thousand feet, And he ain't gonna jump no mo-oo-oore." Or something like that. There needed to be a hymn in this list somewhere, because I have relied heavily on my relationship with God over the last twelve months; praying for everything from my family to the future of the world. I flew back to the UK for two different Queen's Scout Award ceremonies last April, including the parade for St George's Day at Windsor Castle, where we sang a heavily altered version of this. It was fantastic, but a massive disappointment as far as meeting famous people was concerned. Some old lady had her birthday that weekend, so lots of people were busy.
May: Vienna - Ultravox
Guess where I went in May?
Indeed, I did go to Austria with Jordan, and we did stay in the capital city. We went on the fantastically named Christi Himmelfahrt, which is another Bank Holiday that we don't have in England. Sadly, Helen got glandular fever/mono (HAHAHAHAHAAAAA) and couldn't come (sad). But Jordan and I still went and hung out with Emily who came back to Vienna to see us for the weekend. Spending time with people who have no expectations except having a bit of a moan about the state of the world and the poor module choices for fourth year was really enjoyable. And we didn't sing the Vengaboys for the entire weekend either, so not having Helen there was just the gift that kept on giving...
June: Just - Radiohead
Ugh.
I couldn't write a list of music that influenced 2016 without mentioning Radiohead, sadly. They had a new album out in the summer last year, which I am informed by a Radiohead fan (such things exist) is really good. Personally, I thought it sounded like sentimental teen rubbish. So instead of making anyone suffer through it, I am putting Just in this list, as it is half decent, and doesn't fade into the background of "meh" that tends to encompass Radiohead for me.
I apologise to anyone who actually likes Radiohead, but I am almost entirely indifferent to their music.
July: Over London Skies - Orchestra
"Another Goodbye Airport" faced me in July, as I moved out of my flat in Braunschweig for good, and left behind a life I truly miss. For a while, I thought my sentimentality was for a version of myself that couldn't be replicated, and friends I didn't want to lose. Six months down the line, I realise that neither of these is quite true. Life in Braunschweig allowed me to be a proper grown up for the first time, and I really did make some fantastic friends that I wish I could see more often. But I really do miss Germany. There are just some intrinsically German things that I wish I could get back to. I'll go back one day.
August: Ms Jackson - Outkast
Blame Matt. He is to blame for this terrible, terrible choice. And for the singing you've all had to endure since I came back to uni.This song. Right. This song.
It's so funny if you sing the lyrics in the cartoon to the tune of the song. And if I were even a little bit sorry for singing "I AM FOUR EEEEELS" at all hours of the day to poor, unsuspecting Declan, then I would "apologise a trillion times" to my housemates, my neighbours, Matt and everyone else who's been subjected to this.
September: The Boys Are Back In Town -Thin Lizzy
OK, so number one, this is an amazing song. Anyone who tells you otherwise probably likes Radiohead. Lame.
Secondly, I came back to uni in November. It was great to see all my wonderful friends again, as well as Ute the Tutor and the other remaining German Department staff (of which there were about three.) I'd love to say that I felt at home coming back to Nottingham, as if I actually belong here. That would be a total lie. However, I do feel like this is my place. Nobody can make me feel like I don't belong here. I think it's just because I know the place so well. I have a right to be here.
Plus everyone got back from their years abroad at the same time. So, you know, "The boys are back in town".
October: California Man - Roy Wood
In October I met Roy Wood. I wrote about it on this blog, and it was really the highlight of the month. He was a very pleasant man, and he signed a copy of our painting. I wasn't sure which song to include from Roy, so I've included this one for two reasons. One: I am reclaiming it. Two: It's the opening to the set, as you can see in the video, and it really psyches the audience up for the rest of the show. Even though Roy himself is actually from Birmingham, you really feel like he means it when he sings. And sometimes you just have to think "I don't care if my legs start aching" and do it anyway! Plus, you know, amazing saxophones.
November: Heaven Can Wait - Meat Loaf
 |
| Same. |
Another reason is that I look like (long-haired) Meat Loaf when I wear a suit sometimes. It's like we're soulmates. Except that he's American.
December: Rabbit - Chas N Dave
In December I saw Roy Wood in concert again. To be honest, it was a little boring, seeing the same set twice in two months. I went with Jordan, and I think both of us were more excited to see Chas and Dave, who were also performing live. Unfortunately, Chas and Dave only performed about three songs, which was not enough for us. But we still had a lovely time, and visited the Birmingham Christmas Market at the same time.
So that's it I guess. Obviously, there are more songs I could mention, but I don't want to.
Happy "new" year. I hope this has been more interesting that me grumbling on...
Tuesday, 15 November 2016
An Open Letter to a Personal Hero
Dear Dr. Wood,
We met briefly in the pub before your concert in St Albans last month. It was one of the best concerts I've seen you do. I don't know why, because it's exactly the same set I've been seeing live since 2008. But something about that particular show was better, even perhaps better than your performance at the O2 with Status Quo a few years back.
You might vaguely remember me. I came into the pub with my dad about ten minutes before the show was due to start, and was slightly gobsmacked at actually meeting you in person. It was just such a surreal experience. You - Roy Wood - were there. In a Wetherspoons, right in front of me.
My dad asked you to sign about a million copies of the painting hanging in our "music room" (anyone else would call it the dining room); The Songwriter by Debra Dee, from the collection of portraits she painted of you. They were on display at St Paul's Gallery in Birmingham in 2012. It's one of the more crazy things my dad has ever bought - I remember coming home from school one day, and he was just grinning like a fool. I didn't even have to ask why. I think my exact words were "which one did you buy?" Apparently that painting makes up a portion of my inheritance. My boyfriend is thrilled...
We took a few photos together, which astonished friends and family. There are hardly any photos of my dad in existence. Surprisingly, this isn't because he's a vampire; it's simply because he doesn't like photos. When I was growing up, the only picture of him on display in our house was meeting you at some obscure concert in some obscure year of the 80s. I think that speaks volumes for you.
Without needing to be asked, my dad told you that his favourite song of yours is "Mist on a Monday Morning". And he's right, the poetry of the words is amazing, and the orchestration is very clever. Dad asked you if you'd written it (he knew you had, but didn't want to get it wrong, I think), to which you said "Of course I did, you knob." That sent him reeling. Hours later he was still over the moon; "Roy Wood called me a knob!", he kept joyously repeating.
When asked, you said that your favourite song from your extensive catalogue is "Beautiful Daughter". I agree that it's a lovely song, and I'm sure it has much more meaning to you than it does to anyone else. That's just how these things are. But it got me thinking about which of the thousands is my favourite. I'm sure you probably don't want to know, but I'd like to tell you.
It took some consideration. Being born in the 90s means that I have very little concept of what was popular, or successful, or even sometimes exactly when things were released. I also get confused between The Move and early ELO sometimes, but I'm working on it.
There are the obvious favourite songs, such as "See My Baby Jive" and "Angel Fingers", but whilst brilliant, neither of those was ever really contenders for me. I love "Blackberry Way", especially the new edit on Music Book, but I never know whether to laugh or cry when I hear it. It's quite a painful song in a strange way.
I absolutely adore "Brontosaurus", although it's a little muddy-sounding, and I think that building it into the intro for "California Man" is genius. "California Man" is another amazing song, although my experience with real Californian men leaves something to be desired. And I have to point out, Dr. Wood, you're not actually from California. You're from Birmingham. Sorry to break it to you.
I also get some enjoyment from the mad, comedic songs you've produced, such as "Curly" and "When Gran'ma Plays The Banjo". Heaven knows why. "Jolly Cup Of Tea" is also on the list. Somewhere.
But in the end, Dr. Wood, I think my favourite song you've ever written is "Whisper In The Night". There's a recording, an old live recording, of you playing it without the choir, and that's one of my favourite recordings ever, I think. It starts with you saying "That was Jeff Lynne, of course. Of course... Of course..." and then you go on to explain the song. It's beautiful and I don't really know why. That song also contains on of my favourite quotes of all time; "Though God gave the world // It's not mine to throw away." I don't know if you're religious or if it's just there for musicality, but it really strikes a chord with me. But I suppose you don't need telling how amazing your work is. It's right there, every Christmas, when the whole world is playing your song. (And a smaller portion of the world is playing your other song, "Sing Out The Old, Bring In The New". That's also great, by the way.)
But I've been talking for a while now, I'd better stop so you can get on. I guess what I'm trying to say, Dr. Wood, is thank you. Thanks for being a genius and writing a lot of my favourite songs; thank you for founding most of my favourite bands too. But thank you most of all for being a decent human being, and letting a starstruck young woman and her dad interrupt you in a pub. Having a hero who's also a stand up guy is a real blessing.
I'm going to another of your concerts this year, I've been incredibly lucky. A friend and I are going to Birmingham on the 20th December to see Rockmas, with you, Chas and Dave, and Andy Fairweather-Low and the Low Riders. We even got seats really close to the front. You won't be surprised to hear that I'm looking forward to it!
Anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to seeing you again.
Best wishes,
Emma
We met briefly in the pub before your concert in St Albans last month. It was one of the best concerts I've seen you do. I don't know why, because it's exactly the same set I've been seeing live since 2008. But something about that particular show was better, even perhaps better than your performance at the O2 with Status Quo a few years back.
You might vaguely remember me. I came into the pub with my dad about ten minutes before the show was due to start, and was slightly gobsmacked at actually meeting you in person. It was just such a surreal experience. You - Roy Wood - were there. In a Wetherspoons, right in front of me.
My dad asked you to sign about a million copies of the painting hanging in our "music room" (anyone else would call it the dining room); The Songwriter by Debra Dee, from the collection of portraits she painted of you. They were on display at St Paul's Gallery in Birmingham in 2012. It's one of the more crazy things my dad has ever bought - I remember coming home from school one day, and he was just grinning like a fool. I didn't even have to ask why. I think my exact words were "which one did you buy?" Apparently that painting makes up a portion of my inheritance. My boyfriend is thrilled...
We took a few photos together, which astonished friends and family. There are hardly any photos of my dad in existence. Surprisingly, this isn't because he's a vampire; it's simply because he doesn't like photos. When I was growing up, the only picture of him on display in our house was meeting you at some obscure concert in some obscure year of the 80s. I think that speaks volumes for you.
Without needing to be asked, my dad told you that his favourite song of yours is "Mist on a Monday Morning". And he's right, the poetry of the words is amazing, and the orchestration is very clever. Dad asked you if you'd written it (he knew you had, but didn't want to get it wrong, I think), to which you said "Of course I did, you knob." That sent him reeling. Hours later he was still over the moon; "Roy Wood called me a knob!", he kept joyously repeating.
When asked, you said that your favourite song from your extensive catalogue is "Beautiful Daughter". I agree that it's a lovely song, and I'm sure it has much more meaning to you than it does to anyone else. That's just how these things are. But it got me thinking about which of the thousands is my favourite. I'm sure you probably don't want to know, but I'd like to tell you.
It took some consideration. Being born in the 90s means that I have very little concept of what was popular, or successful, or even sometimes exactly when things were released. I also get confused between The Move and early ELO sometimes, but I'm working on it.
There are the obvious favourite songs, such as "See My Baby Jive" and "Angel Fingers", but whilst brilliant, neither of those was ever really contenders for me. I love "Blackberry Way", especially the new edit on Music Book, but I never know whether to laugh or cry when I hear it. It's quite a painful song in a strange way.
I absolutely adore "Brontosaurus", although it's a little muddy-sounding, and I think that building it into the intro for "California Man" is genius. "California Man" is another amazing song, although my experience with real Californian men leaves something to be desired. And I have to point out, Dr. Wood, you're not actually from California. You're from Birmingham. Sorry to break it to you.
I also get some enjoyment from the mad, comedic songs you've produced, such as "Curly" and "When Gran'ma Plays The Banjo". Heaven knows why. "Jolly Cup Of Tea" is also on the list. Somewhere.
But in the end, Dr. Wood, I think my favourite song you've ever written is "Whisper In The Night". There's a recording, an old live recording, of you playing it without the choir, and that's one of my favourite recordings ever, I think. It starts with you saying "That was Jeff Lynne, of course. Of course... Of course..." and then you go on to explain the song. It's beautiful and I don't really know why. That song also contains on of my favourite quotes of all time; "Though God gave the world // It's not mine to throw away." I don't know if you're religious or if it's just there for musicality, but it really strikes a chord with me. But I suppose you don't need telling how amazing your work is. It's right there, every Christmas, when the whole world is playing your song. (And a smaller portion of the world is playing your other song, "Sing Out The Old, Bring In The New". That's also great, by the way.)
But I've been talking for a while now, I'd better stop so you can get on. I guess what I'm trying to say, Dr. Wood, is thank you. Thanks for being a genius and writing a lot of my favourite songs; thank you for founding most of my favourite bands too. But thank you most of all for being a decent human being, and letting a starstruck young woman and her dad interrupt you in a pub. Having a hero who's also a stand up guy is a real blessing.
I'm going to another of your concerts this year, I've been incredibly lucky. A friend and I are going to Birmingham on the 20th December to see Rockmas, with you, Chas and Dave, and Andy Fairweather-Low and the Low Riders. We even got seats really close to the front. You won't be surprised to hear that I'm looking forward to it!
Anyway, it was a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to seeing you again.
Best wishes,
Emma
Sunday, 9 October 2016
If Songs Were Friends
Or if friends were songs...
I like music and friends. The two don't usually like each other (Daniel is still getting over "One 4 Xmas" by HotPantz), but I like both. Therefore I'm spending my time linking my friends with certain songs. See the list below...
Alice has to be represented by something we sang in the choir together. Heaven knows what, because we sang so much! I think I can narrow it down to a song from the Albert Hall concert, but that still leaves five choices. Or does it? Well, considering that the other two options are the School Song and Gold, yes. Yes it does. So it has to be the iconic Werner Song, Mercy Street. Nice one, Simon ;)
Harri, on the other hand, has never been quite as musical as some of my other friends. Apart from stating a total dislike for ELO (whose most popular song they once retitled "The day my cat killed your grandma with a toaster"), nothing really stands out about Harri's music tastes in my memory. Except that one Chemistry lesson, where we sang "GOLD! Always recycle your knees" to poor Mr Jays... But for a period in the lower school, they did like the Jam, so I suppose I always associate Harri with Eton Rifles.
Elizbeth is a difficult one. I have very fond memories of her shouting at her iPod "But WHERE did you end up Amy?! Oh yes, that's right - REHAB!" Then of course, there's the possibility of Grey Squirrel, or Auntie Monica. And I have great memories of singing Mr Brightside with her at the top of my lungs at Tolmers. But my strongest musical link to Liz is probably Hot and Cold, which must be sung in the most awful Scottish accent achievable.
Helen deserves something glorious. But Helen and Jordan together can only be one thing. And I am truly sorry to everyone who clicks on this link. Except Helen. I don't really care that Helen had to suffer that ;)
But Helen and Jordan separately are difficult to place. I think I'm going to have to go a bit hipster (you won't have heard of it) and say Lion's Heart for Helen, because of the strong independent woman bit, and the Gryffindor link. For Jordan, I think it has to be something cheesy, but also dreadful. Maybe this Ukranian Eurovision entry from a few years ago?
I think for Daniel there is only one choice. When he found out that I know Ein Lied Für Dich, he basically had a heart attack. Apparently Brits shouldn't know German music. Unless it's weird comedy songs about Käsebrot.
For James and Lewis there's not much else I can say about this tune. (Although, as the Yanks say, "Peterhooooouse".) A close second for Lewis was Man! I Feel Like a Woman. Not because he is effeminate, but because of an occurrence at the Wolfenbüttel Christmas Market.
Matt and I have never had a "couples song"; I don't even know if that's something people in the real world do. He suggested Rick Astley when I asked him, but I actually think The Proclaimers is a better fit, given Graham fitting our names into it at Phatpocket, various car rides and the infamous QSA hike. We didn't quite walk five hundred miles, but it certainly felt like it.
Declan was a tough decision. It had to be something from the musical The Producers, but the obvious choice seems a bit too obvious. The problem is, I really associate Springtime for Hitler with Emily (or maybe Helen), so maybe there is only one choice. He told me he didn't want it to be Poing.
There are, of course, lots of people missing from this list, including a whole load of people I always think of when I hear Dynamite, or The Final Countdown, or any other number of Owen's-related songs. And for some people it's really hard to pin it down to the most important song. Or even any song at all
in some cases.
So whatever, that's it from me. again. I'll probably be in touch at some point, either by blog or in actual people. Thanks for reading again. Much love xx
I like music and friends. The two don't usually like each other (Daniel is still getting over "One 4 Xmas" by HotPantz), but I like both. Therefore I'm spending my time linking my friends with certain songs. See the list below...
Alice has to be represented by something we sang in the choir together. Heaven knows what, because we sang so much! I think I can narrow it down to a song from the Albert Hall concert, but that still leaves five choices. Or does it? Well, considering that the other two options are the School Song and Gold, yes. Yes it does. So it has to be the iconic Werner Song, Mercy Street. Nice one, Simon ;)
Harri, on the other hand, has never been quite as musical as some of my other friends. Apart from stating a total dislike for ELO (whose most popular song they once retitled "The day my cat killed your grandma with a toaster"), nothing really stands out about Harri's music tastes in my memory. Except that one Chemistry lesson, where we sang "GOLD! Always recycle your knees" to poor Mr Jays... But for a period in the lower school, they did like the Jam, so I suppose I always associate Harri with Eton Rifles.
Elizbeth is a difficult one. I have very fond memories of her shouting at her iPod "But WHERE did you end up Amy?! Oh yes, that's right - REHAB!" Then of course, there's the possibility of Grey Squirrel, or Auntie Monica. And I have great memories of singing Mr Brightside with her at the top of my lungs at Tolmers. But my strongest musical link to Liz is probably Hot and Cold, which must be sung in the most awful Scottish accent achievable.
Helen deserves something glorious. But Helen and Jordan together can only be one thing. And I am truly sorry to everyone who clicks on this link. Except Helen. I don't really care that Helen had to suffer that ;)
But Helen and Jordan separately are difficult to place. I think I'm going to have to go a bit hipster (you won't have heard of it) and say Lion's Heart for Helen, because of the strong independent woman bit, and the Gryffindor link. For Jordan, I think it has to be something cheesy, but also dreadful. Maybe this Ukranian Eurovision entry from a few years ago?
I think for Daniel there is only one choice. When he found out that I know Ein Lied Für Dich, he basically had a heart attack. Apparently Brits shouldn't know German music. Unless it's weird comedy songs about Käsebrot.
For James and Lewis there's not much else I can say about this tune. (Although, as the Yanks say, "Peterhooooouse".) A close second for Lewis was Man! I Feel Like a Woman. Not because he is effeminate, but because of an occurrence at the Wolfenbüttel Christmas Market.
Matt and I have never had a "couples song"; I don't even know if that's something people in the real world do. He suggested Rick Astley when I asked him, but I actually think The Proclaimers is a better fit, given Graham fitting our names into it at Phatpocket, various car rides and the infamous QSA hike. We didn't quite walk five hundred miles, but it certainly felt like it.
Declan was a tough decision. It had to be something from the musical The Producers, but the obvious choice seems a bit too obvious. The problem is, I really associate Springtime for Hitler with Emily (or maybe Helen), so maybe there is only one choice. He told me he didn't want it to be Poing.
There are, of course, lots of people missing from this list, including a whole load of people I always think of when I hear Dynamite, or The Final Countdown, or any other number of Owen's-related songs. And for some people it's really hard to pin it down to the most important song. Or even any song at all
in some cases.
So whatever, that's it from me. again. I'll probably be in touch at some point, either by blog or in actual people. Thanks for reading again. Much love xx
Thursday, 29 September 2016
Put Your Arms Around the World
In recent weeks I've been told off several times for "throwing [my]self at fully grown men." Despite this making me sound like some sort of seductive temptress who lures married men away from their innocent, loving wives, the reality is simpler, and less sordid. Far from being cast as the femme fatale in this little skit I am, in fact, being described as childish. But, never one to take criticism too seriously (haha, yeah right) I've not let this deter me, and I'm carrying on doing my thing. Haters gonna hate and all that.
Everyone who knows me is aware that I am, when appropriate, a very tactile person. In fact, I've even written about it on this blog. It's no big secret, I like hugs. It's how I make and greet friends, how I say goodbye; it's how I show thanks, or apologise; it's how I show sympathy or tell someone that I'm sorry they're having a bad time. I even hug people to put my magical healing properties into action.
At work over the summer I made many new friends and renewed some old acquaintances. I also found in Other Dan (Fleabag Monkeyboy) someone who is as tactile and friendly as I am. Which was amazing. And, after some discussion about friends and handling interpersonal relationships, hugging became part of our daily communication. (The same can be said for Dan, who also willingly jumped on the hug wagon - often taking it a little too far...)
Seeing old friends after a long time apart has also led to much encircling of people in arms recently, as I have returned to my "spiritual home" (intellectual home? part-time home? who knows?!) in Nottingham after more than a year away. Seeing Declan and Tom led to more grasping of fully grown men into welcoming and friendly death grips/embraces in the kitchen, the street, the cinema, and the bus stop. Even Lewis, who I saw in March on a fleeting trip round Braun Town, was (willingly) subjected to a cuddle in the middle of the Clive Granger Building. Not that I had much choice; his arms are so long he'd have hugged me from the end of the corridor...
Of course, seeing Emily, Chloe and Helen, my former TEAM from Abbey Road (or what normal people call "housemates"), again after so long also called for hugs! Especially after Chloe had actually worked out who I was. However, they are not grown men, so their mention in this blog is only honorary.
Last weekend I also did my share of hugging when I wasn't being the Super Scout Translator. I spent the weekend in Viernheim with my wonderful DPSG friends, and Paul and Nicole from Potters Bar. Seeing Gabi always calls for a hug; ditto Markus, who is about as full grown and male as it gets. Other friends, who I only got to know at the weekend, were not greeted with hugs, but were still cuddled close to my healing chest upon departure, meaning I left with more hugs than I arrived with! In fact, I wasn't even the cuddliest person on the weekend trip; the two young daughters of Paul and Nicole's hosts were far cuddlier than I during my time in Viernheim last week. We were, in the most literal sense, welcomed into the bosom of the family.
There are, naturally, many people I haven't had the chance to hug recently too. The most obvious to me are members of my family, including my grandparents (and Jean, of course. She counts), Auntie Margaret, and various aunts, uncles, cousins, and Victorian swimsuit models. There are lots of friends I haven't seen for a long time, too, including most of my old Owen's pals, who I seemed to always miss seeing over the summer. I'll hug them all soon. Then of course there are the people who are too far away, such as Daniel, Doreen, Sammi, Crowdy... The list is practically endless.
So in conclusion, a good, healthy hug is perfectly OK. There is nothing bad about expressing friendship through physical contact (except in a Scout leader/Explorer context, which is sad. But Teej is 18 now at least!), so the haters can shut up. Bad haters. Don't you have something important to be doing? Like researching Charles Taylor or something? Jeez.
Of course, respecting boundaries is important, and it's a pain when someone gets all up in your grill. But in general, throwing yourself at fully grown men is a perfectly acceptable pastime. And far better than throwing yourself at, for example, brick walls. Or tubas. Or poisonous snakes.
Anyway, Rachel wants dinner, so I'd better stop writing now!
Everyone who knows me is aware that I am, when appropriate, a very tactile person. In fact, I've even written about it on this blog. It's no big secret, I like hugs. It's how I make and greet friends, how I say goodbye; it's how I show thanks, or apologise; it's how I show sympathy or tell someone that I'm sorry they're having a bad time. I even hug people to put my magical healing properties into action.
At work over the summer I made many new friends and renewed some old acquaintances. I also found in Other Dan (Fleabag Monkeyboy) someone who is as tactile and friendly as I am. Which was amazing. And, after some discussion about friends and handling interpersonal relationships, hugging became part of our daily communication. (The same can be said for Dan, who also willingly jumped on the hug wagon - often taking it a little too far...)
Seeing old friends after a long time apart has also led to much encircling of people in arms recently, as I have returned to my "spiritual home" (intellectual home? part-time home? who knows?!) in Nottingham after more than a year away. Seeing Declan and Tom led to more grasping of fully grown men into welcoming and friendly death grips/embraces in the kitchen, the street, the cinema, and the bus stop. Even Lewis, who I saw in March on a fleeting trip round Braun Town, was (willingly) subjected to a cuddle in the middle of the Clive Granger Building. Not that I had much choice; his arms are so long he'd have hugged me from the end of the corridor...
Of course, seeing Emily, Chloe and Helen, my former TEAM from Abbey Road (or what normal people call "housemates"), again after so long also called for hugs! Especially after Chloe had actually worked out who I was. However, they are not grown men, so their mention in this blog is only honorary.
Last weekend I also did my share of hugging when I wasn't being the Super Scout Translator. I spent the weekend in Viernheim with my wonderful DPSG friends, and Paul and Nicole from Potters Bar. Seeing Gabi always calls for a hug; ditto Markus, who is about as full grown and male as it gets. Other friends, who I only got to know at the weekend, were not greeted with hugs, but were still cuddled close to my healing chest upon departure, meaning I left with more hugs than I arrived with! In fact, I wasn't even the cuddliest person on the weekend trip; the two young daughters of Paul and Nicole's hosts were far cuddlier than I during my time in Viernheim last week. We were, in the most literal sense, welcomed into the bosom of the family.
There are, naturally, many people I haven't had the chance to hug recently too. The most obvious to me are members of my family, including my grandparents (and Jean, of course. She counts), Auntie Margaret, and various aunts, uncles, cousins, and Victorian swimsuit models. There are lots of friends I haven't seen for a long time, too, including most of my old Owen's pals, who I seemed to always miss seeing over the summer. I'll hug them all soon. Then of course there are the people who are too far away, such as Daniel, Doreen, Sammi, Crowdy... The list is practically endless.
So in conclusion, a good, healthy hug is perfectly OK. There is nothing bad about expressing friendship through physical contact (except in a Scout leader/Explorer context, which is sad. But Teej is 18 now at least!), so the haters can shut up. Bad haters. Don't you have something important to be doing? Like researching Charles Taylor or something? Jeez.
Of course, respecting boundaries is important, and it's a pain when someone gets all up in your grill. But in general, throwing yourself at fully grown men is a perfectly acceptable pastime. And far better than throwing yourself at, for example, brick walls. Or tubas. Or poisonous snakes.
Anyway, Rachel wants dinner, so I'd better stop writing now!
Monday, 27 June 2016
Leaving Europe
(In which Brexit will not be discussed.)
Stevan: I think I understand why you don't want to leave Germany.
Me: Go on...
Stevan: Well, if we both know then there's no point in prattling on about it, is there?
So guess what I'm going to prattle on about?
But there's more to my pondering than just the obvious. Of course, like any person who lives somewhere for more than a few months, I've built myself a life here in Braunschweig, and leaving this, my first totally independent year, is not going to be easy. But I've known that for months. It's not just the fact that I'll be going home to a much more sheltered life that's getting me down.
In the last year I have, in one way or another, dealt with almost every serious life event. This year hasn't been simple by any means. I've come into contact with moving, making new friends, missing old friends, long distance relationships, language barriers, cultural barriers, starting a new job, moving away form friends, losing weight, commuting, fixing a bike, learning to bake for vegans, University Challenge, Americans, illness in the family, personal illness, inability to travel due to illness*, flight delays, dream jobs*, retirement*, graduation*, realising your dream job isn't*, operations*, important birthdays, writing a book, break ups*, Austria, totally seeing Jeff Lynne in concert like legit for real oh my gosh it was amazing, homesickness*, international travel, drunk people (Drunk Daniel is Best Daniel), enormous upheaval back home in the shape of most of my favourite lecturers leaving/being unceremoniously chucked from their jobs, missed dreams*, a pregnancy scare*, promotions*, marriage*, lost passport*, socks and sandals**, driving a Trabant, quitting smoking*, failing to quit smoking*, alcoholism*, Christmas dinner, growing plants*, insomnia, Buddhist monks, enormous political upheaval, Donald Trump*, musicals about being saved from a curse by leg warmers, Americans in vests*, stag/hen dos*, religion, Creepy Sauna Guy*, gender reassignment surgery*, beard(s)*, and really bad cups of tea.
In fact, the only life events I haven't really dealt with this year are births and deaths (thank goodness!)
So you see, a lot has happened in the last twelve months, and Braunschweig means a lot more to me than just friends and familiarity!
If you see anything I've missed in this list, I'd be very pleased to add it!
*not mine
**reeeeeeaaaaaaally not mine!!!!
Stevan: I think I understand why you don't want to leave Germany.
Me: Go on...
Stevan: Well, if we both know then there's no point in prattling on about it, is there?
So guess what I'm going to prattle on about?
But there's more to my pondering than just the obvious. Of course, like any person who lives somewhere for more than a few months, I've built myself a life here in Braunschweig, and leaving this, my first totally independent year, is not going to be easy. But I've known that for months. It's not just the fact that I'll be going home to a much more sheltered life that's getting me down.
In the last year I have, in one way or another, dealt with almost every serious life event. This year hasn't been simple by any means. I've come into contact with moving, making new friends, missing old friends, long distance relationships, language barriers, cultural barriers, starting a new job, moving away form friends, losing weight, commuting, fixing a bike, learning to bake for vegans, University Challenge, Americans, illness in the family, personal illness, inability to travel due to illness*, flight delays, dream jobs*, retirement*, graduation*, realising your dream job isn't*, operations*, important birthdays, writing a book, break ups*, Austria, totally seeing Jeff Lynne in concert like legit for real oh my gosh it was amazing, homesickness*, international travel, drunk people (Drunk Daniel is Best Daniel), enormous upheaval back home in the shape of most of my favourite lecturers leaving/being unceremoniously chucked from their jobs, missed dreams*, a pregnancy scare*, promotions*, marriage*, lost passport*, socks and sandals**, driving a Trabant, quitting smoking*, failing to quit smoking*, alcoholism*, Christmas dinner, growing plants*, insomnia, Buddhist monks, enormous political upheaval, Donald Trump*, musicals about being saved from a curse by leg warmers, Americans in vests*, stag/hen dos*, religion, Creepy Sauna Guy*, gender reassignment surgery*, beard(s)*, and really bad cups of tea.
In fact, the only life events I haven't really dealt with this year are births and deaths (thank goodness!)
So you see, a lot has happened in the last twelve months, and Braunschweig means a lot more to me than just friends and familiarity!
If you see anything I've missed in this list, I'd be very pleased to add it!
*not mine
**reeeeeeaaaaaaally not mine!!!!
Friday, 27 May 2016
A Problem Shared
Hello children. So you're back for more are you? I don't know why people keep reading this drivel, but I still enjoy writing it, so you're in luck. The pondering this week has mostly been based around my everyday life and those around me. Clearly this means that I've been pondering talking. And tea. But I don't think I could write a post about tea that anyone would willingly read.
You see, we're always told as children that a problem shared is a problem halved. But is it? What happens when the person you choose to share your problem with doesn't believe you? What if they can't solve the problem? Doesn't it just double someone else's problems? Or what if the solution they propose doesn't fit with your world view? Well, lucky for you I'm here to answer all the question you've never asked. With my own particular brand of opinionated drivel.
So let's take the first question. What if your problem is invisible? What if nobody believes the issues your having? Well, this is certainly an issue. If people can't see proof of a problem they might be unwilling to help, or they might try to convince you that nothing is wrong. This can lead to feeling like you've wasted people's time, and that your problem isn't actually a problem at all. Maybe it really is just in your head. Maybe it's not important enough to actually bother people with. Suddenly your problem is doubled, or so it seems. But why would anyone think that? If you're used to hearing things such as "Are you sure it's that bad?" or "I don't believe that's a problem," then you're not going to feel like anything is better. But maybe you've just chosen the wrong person to talk to for this problem. Find someone who believes you, or someone who will at least let you talk uninterrupted, I suppose. Last option would be a cat or something, I suppose. Maybe a tree?
OK, so you've found someone to talk to. Now what? What if they can't help you find a solution? Is there always an answer? No! Of course not! Life isn't like that, life just kind of goes off in all directions at once. But just having someone to talk to can make a huge difference to that; sometimes you can come up with ideas for the next move just by saying things out loud to another person, and sometimes they will have different ideas too. But even if you can't solve the problem between you, you've not lost anything by talking to someone, and often the small steps which can be taken to righting a wrong can't be seen from up close.
But look at what talking to someone achieves: you've reduced your stress levels, taken the baby steps and you may even have become closer to your confidante in the process. Well done you!
OK, so what now? You've talked about it, you're feeling better. Can your friend help you? Probably. Friends are good like that. But what if you don't like the answer you've been given? Well, certain arguments would suggest steaming ahead with your own plan anyway, unless you're actually going to die. Don't do that. But there is no requirement for you to listen to your friends. Anyway, who's to say your solution won't work? It's far better than having a list of "What Ifs". Sometimes you really do need to go with your gut.You can, of course, spitball all the ideas you have until you come to a compromise, but how likely is that to happen if one of you is far more invested in the issue than the other? Exactly.
But still discuss it, just in case dying really is a possibility and you've just overlooked it.
So, conclusion: Do I have one? Probably not. Do I ever have anything to say? Probably not. But my opinion is clear. TALK TO PEOPLE YOU SPANNER. If you're really having issues, of any kind, you need to talk to someone, just to make yourself more comfortable. Sometimes it just worth hearing the arguments you've had in your head out loud, so that you know how crazy you sound. Everyone needs the occasional reality check.
You see, we're always told as children that a problem shared is a problem halved. But is it? What happens when the person you choose to share your problem with doesn't believe you? What if they can't solve the problem? Doesn't it just double someone else's problems? Or what if the solution they propose doesn't fit with your world view? Well, lucky for you I'm here to answer all the question you've never asked. With my own particular brand of opinionated drivel.
So let's take the first question. What if your problem is invisible? What if nobody believes the issues your having? Well, this is certainly an issue. If people can't see proof of a problem they might be unwilling to help, or they might try to convince you that nothing is wrong. This can lead to feeling like you've wasted people's time, and that your problem isn't actually a problem at all. Maybe it really is just in your head. Maybe it's not important enough to actually bother people with. Suddenly your problem is doubled, or so it seems. But why would anyone think that? If you're used to hearing things such as "Are you sure it's that bad?" or "I don't believe that's a problem," then you're not going to feel like anything is better. But maybe you've just chosen the wrong person to talk to for this problem. Find someone who believes you, or someone who will at least let you talk uninterrupted, I suppose. Last option would be a cat or something, I suppose. Maybe a tree?
OK, so you've found someone to talk to. Now what? What if they can't help you find a solution? Is there always an answer? No! Of course not! Life isn't like that, life just kind of goes off in all directions at once. But just having someone to talk to can make a huge difference to that; sometimes you can come up with ideas for the next move just by saying things out loud to another person, and sometimes they will have different ideas too. But even if you can't solve the problem between you, you've not lost anything by talking to someone, and often the small steps which can be taken to righting a wrong can't be seen from up close.
But look at what talking to someone achieves: you've reduced your stress levels, taken the baby steps and you may even have become closer to your confidante in the process. Well done you!
OK, so what now? You've talked about it, you're feeling better. Can your friend help you? Probably. Friends are good like that. But what if you don't like the answer you've been given? Well, certain arguments would suggest steaming ahead with your own plan anyway, unless you're actually going to die. Don't do that. But there is no requirement for you to listen to your friends. Anyway, who's to say your solution won't work? It's far better than having a list of "What Ifs". Sometimes you really do need to go with your gut.You can, of course, spitball all the ideas you have until you come to a compromise, but how likely is that to happen if one of you is far more invested in the issue than the other? Exactly.
But still discuss it, just in case dying really is a possibility and you've just overlooked it.
So, conclusion: Do I have one? Probably not. Do I ever have anything to say? Probably not. But my opinion is clear. TALK TO PEOPLE YOU SPANNER. If you're really having issues, of any kind, you need to talk to someone, just to make yourself more comfortable. Sometimes it just worth hearing the arguments you've had in your head out loud, so that you know how crazy you sound. Everyone needs the occasional reality check.
Saturday, 14 May 2016
Thoughts on my Year Aborad
A couple of people have said that they think what I'm doing this year is really brave, or that they couldn't do it. This was never something that occurred to me, as a year abroad was part of my life plan since the age of 14 or so. But it got me thinking, nay pondering, the challenges I've actually faced this year.
To be honest, there haven't been that many that have really bothered me; obviously moving to somewhere you've never been to before and where you don't know anyone is not going to go smoothly, and there will always be difficulties and problems. But the most of these (starting a new job, moving into a new flat, speaking German all the time, and missing friends and family back home) have been manageable. The most difficult thing out of all of these was the constant German, but that got easier after a few months, and it hardly fries my brain at all now.
One of the problems that a lot of people...
Sorry, Daniel almost bought a boat. I got distracted.
One of the problems that a lot of people find when they start their year abroad is making new friends. However, I wasn't given the opportunity to be friendless, as I was so warmly welcomed to every single social event in the world ever. On my first day of work, I was invited to the cinema. A few days later, they did it again. When I moved into my new flat, my flatmate Meg introduced me to everyone and anyone she could find. The BdP (scouts) threw me into their leaders meetings and camps without a second thought, and I had to make friends from there. So you see, there was no chance of me ever being alone.
This didn't necessarily solve all my problems, however. As Matt, Daniel, or even Stevan will tell you, the biggest problem I've faced this year has been loneliness. I have amazing friends here in Braunschweig, and equally amazing friends back home in both Nottingham and Cuffley/whever they've ended up, but isolation has still been a problem. I've often felt like I have nobody to talk to about problems I've had, or even that I've not been able to tell people when I've been lonely.
Part of the problem is that I don't want to bother people. I don't want to waste their time when I know that they already spend a lot of time with me. But part of it is really that, after only a few months, you can't tell how close you are going to be with someone. What if I talked to the wrong person about what I was thinking and they thought I was being silly? What if I didn't end up staying friends with them long-term?
All of these thoughts are silly, but that's just how it was for me. Fortunately, I found a couple of people I knew I could trust, and I spoke to them. That doesn't mean I didn't annoy them or waste their time, but it means that I know I'd do the same for them. If I waste their time with my silly problems now, I and they both know that they can come to me with silly problems at a later time.
And I'm glad. Now I have excellent (if somewhat mad) friends and people that I know I'll keep in touch with well beyond the end of my few months here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're ever in that situation where you don't know if you should talk to someone or not, do it! There's no worse feeling in the world than loneliness, and nobody deserves to go through that. Give yourself a little bit of courage, and talk to someone. It can only make things better. :)
To be honest, there haven't been that many that have really bothered me; obviously moving to somewhere you've never been to before and where you don't know anyone is not going to go smoothly, and there will always be difficulties and problems. But the most of these (starting a new job, moving into a new flat, speaking German all the time, and missing friends and family back home) have been manageable. The most difficult thing out of all of these was the constant German, but that got easier after a few months, and it hardly fries my brain at all now.
One of the problems that a lot of people...
Sorry, Daniel almost bought a boat. I got distracted.
One of the problems that a lot of people find when they start their year abroad is making new friends. However, I wasn't given the opportunity to be friendless, as I was so warmly welcomed to every single social event in the world ever. On my first day of work, I was invited to the cinema. A few days later, they did it again. When I moved into my new flat, my flatmate Meg introduced me to everyone and anyone she could find. The BdP (scouts) threw me into their leaders meetings and camps without a second thought, and I had to make friends from there. So you see, there was no chance of me ever being alone.
This didn't necessarily solve all my problems, however. As Matt, Daniel, or even Stevan will tell you, the biggest problem I've faced this year has been loneliness. I have amazing friends here in Braunschweig, and equally amazing friends back home in both Nottingham and Cuffley/whever they've ended up, but isolation has still been a problem. I've often felt like I have nobody to talk to about problems I've had, or even that I've not been able to tell people when I've been lonely.
Part of the problem is that I don't want to bother people. I don't want to waste their time when I know that they already spend a lot of time with me. But part of it is really that, after only a few months, you can't tell how close you are going to be with someone. What if I talked to the wrong person about what I was thinking and they thought I was being silly? What if I didn't end up staying friends with them long-term?
All of these thoughts are silly, but that's just how it was for me. Fortunately, I found a couple of people I knew I could trust, and I spoke to them. That doesn't mean I didn't annoy them or waste their time, but it means that I know I'd do the same for them. If I waste their time with my silly problems now, I and they both know that they can come to me with silly problems at a later time.
And I'm glad. Now I have excellent (if somewhat mad) friends and people that I know I'll keep in touch with well beyond the end of my few months here.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you're ever in that situation where you don't know if you should talk to someone or not, do it! There's no worse feeling in the world than loneliness, and nobody deserves to go through that. Give yourself a little bit of courage, and talk to someone. It can only make things better. :)
Sunday, 13 March 2016
Strong Women and their Role in Film
Hello children. Welcome back. It shouldn't really be a surprise to you that I'm going completely off topic with this post. Daniel has been ill this weekend, so I've had to entertain myself. With this unexpected free time, I watched a lot of films. So I'm pondering the role of women in children's films.
And even in the films I watched, the powerful women were never the protagonists. For example, look at Lilo and Stitch. Nani, Lilo's sister, is one of the most strong women in any Disney film in my humble opinion. Her parents have died, leaving her with a younger sister to look after while she herself is trying to succeed in life. She must only be a teenager. She works as much as she can, and still manages to be the best guardian Lilo could ask for. She even lets her feed the goldfish peanut butter!
And this is exactly what we need more of in Disney. There are so many films that have these strong characters in them that girls can look up to, they're just hidden behind a layer of flounce and looking gorgeous. Or they're pushed off to one side to make room for a cute yet gross alien. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you have a child, you should try to expose them to women in as many different roles in film as possible. Show them powerful women, and weak women, women who can lead, and women who follow. Both boys and girls should learn that anyone can be anything - it doesn't matter whether you're male, female, or neither. You can be strong if you want to.
*I am fully aware that there are cultural misappropriation issues with some Disney films, including Mulan, Pocahontas and Lilo and Stitch. There is absolutely no way that I'm say that this is excusable or acceptable, but that is a matter for an entirely different post. The women in those films are still powerful and clever.
Growing up, as everyone knows, I absolutely loved Disney (of course I still do!) But I always hear the criticism that "there are very few strong women in Disney films", and I have to say that, within the films I grew up with, I agree. You don't have to look very far to see evidence of weak women, who just want to please their fathers/husbands/boyfriends/anyone else who comes along. There's Snow White, who doesn't really even do anything, Sleeping Beauty (it's in the name, she literally falls asleep), Maid Marian in Robin Hood, Wendy and Tiger Lilly in Peter Pan. Even the Swan Princess. I know that isn't a Disney film, but it was one I watched quite a lot at one point. But she really didn't do a lot, except turn into a swan. She's the eponymous character and I can't even for the life of me remember her name, although I think it ends in "-ette". How's that for weak?
And you see what I mean. There are no strong women in that list; just some awkward racial stereotypes and some princesses who couldn't look after themselves. Snow White is the perfect example of this. She is the loving daughter, who does everything she's told. She can't defend herself from anything, including a tree the catches on her dress. She's so pretty that even a hired hitman can't bring himself to kill her. She looks after seven, incompetent men (that's another stereotype we'll talk about another time) by cooking and cleaning for them. It just puts forward this horrendous image of the good little girl who couldn't do anything for herself, except the housework.
And I know part of that is because it's a fairy tale which is (at least) as old as my dad, back from a time when young ladies did as they were told. And the other part is because it's a film from the thirties when women were still massively restricted in what they could do.
But nowadays, these women (Snow White and the type) have such an enormous impact on young girls. I heard it described once as "Disney films do to women what pornography does to men." Whilst crude, this makes a fair point, I guess. Both provide unrealistic ideas on behaviour and relationships in all forms and for both parties. If you compare it in that way, the affect that Disney has on little children is somewhat scary.
But the thing is, strong women do exist in Disney. It's just that I was never introduced to them. Looking back at it this weekend, I realised that all the films I never saw as a child are the ones where the women do the most. Mulan, who literally goes away to fight for her country. Pocahontas, who tries to protect her family and her tribe from a force she doesn't fully understand. Megara (from Hercules) who, although she once sold her soul to Hades to be with a man, has learnt from her mistakes and now stands on her own feet. Esmerelda (Hunchback of Notre Dame), who fights for what she believes in, even if it means she is persecuted.* Then there's all the modern films which I just couldn't watch as a child because they didn't exist: Merida in Brave manages not to fall in love for an entire film, Anna and Elsa fight for each other and themselves in Frozen, even if they don't quite do what you'd expect, or even suggest, and Tiana in The Princess and the Frog (although she actually is a frog) also manages to work hard and do everything for herself - or at least try! You could even argue that Rapunzel is arguably up there too, as she stands up to Flynn/Eugene (having never even met anyone who wasn't her "mother" before) and later standing up to Goethel herself.
And even in the films I watched, the powerful women were never the protagonists. For example, look at Lilo and Stitch. Nani, Lilo's sister, is one of the most strong women in any Disney film in my humble opinion. Her parents have died, leaving her with a younger sister to look after while she herself is trying to succeed in life. She must only be a teenager. She works as much as she can, and still manages to be the best guardian Lilo could ask for. She even lets her feed the goldfish peanut butter!
And this is exactly what we need more of in Disney. There are so many films that have these strong characters in them that girls can look up to, they're just hidden behind a layer of flounce and looking gorgeous. Or they're pushed off to one side to make room for a cute yet gross alien. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, if you have a child, you should try to expose them to women in as many different roles in film as possible. Show them powerful women, and weak women, women who can lead, and women who follow. Both boys and girls should learn that anyone can be anything - it doesn't matter whether you're male, female, or neither. You can be strong if you want to.
*I am fully aware that there are cultural misappropriation issues with some Disney films, including Mulan, Pocahontas and Lilo and Stitch. There is absolutely no way that I'm say that this is excusable or acceptable, but that is a matter for an entirely different post. The women in those films are still powerful and clever.
Thursday, 10 December 2015
Things I've learnt in 2015
Greetings dear friends and Internet stalkers. It's coming to that time of year again where I look back and ponder what I even did with myself over the last twelve months. As ever, the answer is "not a lot".
Still, I seem to have learnt some things. So here are the top twenty pieces of ~ahem~ "useful" "knowledge"* I've picked up in 2015. I hope some of them are helful to at least one person at some time in the future.
Still, I seem to have learnt some things. So here are the top twenty pieces of ~ahem~ "useful" "knowledge"* I've picked up in 2015. I hope some of them are helful to at least one person at some time in the future.
- According to my flatmate, food (specifically a kebab) is better than sex
- It's not the ringers that smell of the tower, it's the tower that smells of the ringers
- Vegan cooking can be super easy
- The German for "a really big yurt" is "Super Jurte"
- If you slice off the end of your thumb, it's probably not bad enough for you to need to go to hospital, just stem the blood flow
- Lock the door when you're in the bath
- If you don't know the words, just sing "tractor tractor tractor"
- Mike the Tiger is the mascot for Louisiana University. He is a real, live tiger
- Chicken fried chicken exists
- Tea and sympathy get you a long way
- If you get bitten by a Catholic, you become a Catholic
- If you get bitten by the Pope, you become Italian
- Vegan cheese doesn't melt
- If you reach the age of 30 in north Germany without getting married, you have to sweep the steps of the Rathaus until a young lady comes along and kisses you [SIDEBAR: This tradition is more common among men, I don't know who kisses women. Maybe Santa]
- "If it ends in 'e' it's probably 'die'" is a lie.
- Your housemates will think you're crazy if you try to make the house nicer
- Your housemates will think you're crazy if you try to use a slow cooker
- Your housemates will think you're crazy if you try to explain sausage rolls and Christmas Pudding
- If you lose one of your Beavers, they are probably in the tent
- You will get on better with your friends during a four day hike than you will ever in your life again. Ever.
Season's Greetings and a happy New Year!
*Some of these "facts" are true and some are utter garbage. I'll leave it to your personal judgement to decide which are which.
Wednesday, 18 November 2015
In Response To Paris
Hi -di-hi y'all. Bet you didn't expect to hear from me again so quickly.
Like everyone else with access to the free media, I heard about the terrible attacks in Paris, among other places, last week. The media have covered it pretty much non-stop since it happened (at least in Paris, I've not seen a lot about anywhere else). I've been pondering my personal response to these actions for the last few days. I know I'm only one person, but with this blog I know I can reach at least, like, three whole other people. So maybe I can make a small difference.
When I heard about Paris, I was shocked. I wanted to cry, and scream. I wanted to get over to France and do anything and everything I could to help. Sadly, France was in total shutdown, and it wouldn't have been practical to go even if it hadn't been. So I decided to do everything I could from my family home in Hertfordshire.
I checked that my friends in Paris were safe, and then I did nothing.
That's it.
I didn't cancel my plans to travel (using public transport) into central London with my family on Saturday. I didn't stop myself from enjoying a night out in one of the most "at-risk" cities in Europe. (Xanadu at the Southwark Playhouse, if anyone's interested. Amazing. I'd recommend going, but they've sold out until the end of the season!) And I did nothing to lessen my experience of getting on the tube (I hate the tube) any further. I also didn't cancel my flight from London to Berlin (arguably another "high risk" city) on Sunday. I didn't change my travel plans to get to the airport either. And I didn't complain when they wanted to check my bag at security (my bacon showed up as a liquid on the scanner.) When in Berlin, I didn't do anything to alter my arranged journey back to Braunschweig. I didn't worry about anything apart from making sure I got on the right train.
Because that's the best way to fight these morons.
Terrorists are like naughty children. If you react to every little thing they do, they will never learn that that's not the right way to behave. If a child throws a hissy-fit in the middle of the supermarket because you refuse to buy them sweets, you shouldn't give in and buy them sweets. Then the child learns that making a fuss leads to getting what you want. If a terrorist organisation kills innocent people in one of the biggest cities in Europe, you don't creep around in fear for the next few months. And you certainly don't get into a screaming match in the middle of the metaphorical supermarket. You just get on with your day as you would have before. You don't let them learn that they win by making a fuss.
If we live in fear of everything, we provoke the response "Look how weak the West is! They cower at our feet!" If we retaliate and bomb them into oblivion, we provoke the response "Look how dangerous the West is! We must fight back to protect ourselves!" If we band together, recover from the atrocities they've committed and leave them alone, they'll realise that their plan isn't working. They might try again (I really hope not, surely nobody is that heartless), but they'll learn that it isn't going to help.
They'll grow up a bit if we just leave them alone.
America and Europe have sent fighters and bombers and soldiers into more countries than there are scenes starring Daniel Radcliffe in a Harry Potter film. IT DOESN'T WORK. We've never had the result we want, and we never will. What on earth makes people think "This time. This time we're going to come out on top." It just kills more innocent people, a result nobody wants.
Actually, that's a lie. You know who wants that result? Terrorists.
My point is: stop. Stop trying to fight back. Stop giving them reasons to come and do this again. People died. Over one hundred and thirty people died. One hundred and thirty. That's about the same as the number of people in a reasonably large Scout group (Beavers through to Leaders). That's not OK. In no universe is that OK. So don't send troops and planes and bombs. Don't cancel your holiday plans. Mourn the dead, of course, but don't make things worse for the living.
Carry on as before.
Offer support the the refugees trying to escape from these people.
Look after your friends, family, and neighbours. (Especially those who peacefully practice Islam, they need the support right now too.)
Help out if you can.
But apart from that, do nothing.
All my love goes out to those affected by the attacks France, Lebanon, Chad, Cameroon, and Nigeria, to name some of the most recent ones. I hope life can resume for normal for you all as soon as possible.
Like everyone else with access to the free media, I heard about the terrible attacks in Paris, among other places, last week. The media have covered it pretty much non-stop since it happened (at least in Paris, I've not seen a lot about anywhere else). I've been pondering my personal response to these actions for the last few days. I know I'm only one person, but with this blog I know I can reach at least, like, three whole other people. So maybe I can make a small difference.
When I heard about Paris, I was shocked. I wanted to cry, and scream. I wanted to get over to France and do anything and everything I could to help. Sadly, France was in total shutdown, and it wouldn't have been practical to go even if it hadn't been. So I decided to do everything I could from my family home in Hertfordshire.
I checked that my friends in Paris were safe, and then I did nothing.
That's it.
I didn't cancel my plans to travel (using public transport) into central London with my family on Saturday. I didn't stop myself from enjoying a night out in one of the most "at-risk" cities in Europe. (Xanadu at the Southwark Playhouse, if anyone's interested. Amazing. I'd recommend going, but they've sold out until the end of the season!) And I did nothing to lessen my experience of getting on the tube (I hate the tube) any further. I also didn't cancel my flight from London to Berlin (arguably another "high risk" city) on Sunday. I didn't change my travel plans to get to the airport either. And I didn't complain when they wanted to check my bag at security (my bacon showed up as a liquid on the scanner.) When in Berlin, I didn't do anything to alter my arranged journey back to Braunschweig. I didn't worry about anything apart from making sure I got on the right train.
Because that's the best way to fight these morons.
Terrorists are like naughty children. If you react to every little thing they do, they will never learn that that's not the right way to behave. If a child throws a hissy-fit in the middle of the supermarket because you refuse to buy them sweets, you shouldn't give in and buy them sweets. Then the child learns that making a fuss leads to getting what you want. If a terrorist organisation kills innocent people in one of the biggest cities in Europe, you don't creep around in fear for the next few months. And you certainly don't get into a screaming match in the middle of the metaphorical supermarket. You just get on with your day as you would have before. You don't let them learn that they win by making a fuss.
If we live in fear of everything, we provoke the response "Look how weak the West is! They cower at our feet!" If we retaliate and bomb them into oblivion, we provoke the response "Look how dangerous the West is! We must fight back to protect ourselves!" If we band together, recover from the atrocities they've committed and leave them alone, they'll realise that their plan isn't working. They might try again (I really hope not, surely nobody is that heartless), but they'll learn that it isn't going to help.
They'll grow up a bit if we just leave them alone.
America and Europe have sent fighters and bombers and soldiers into more countries than there are scenes starring Daniel Radcliffe in a Harry Potter film. IT DOESN'T WORK. We've never had the result we want, and we never will. What on earth makes people think "This time. This time we're going to come out on top." It just kills more innocent people, a result nobody wants.
Actually, that's a lie. You know who wants that result? Terrorists.
My point is: stop. Stop trying to fight back. Stop giving them reasons to come and do this again. People died. Over one hundred and thirty people died. One hundred and thirty. That's about the same as the number of people in a reasonably large Scout group (Beavers through to Leaders). That's not OK. In no universe is that OK. So don't send troops and planes and bombs. Don't cancel your holiday plans. Mourn the dead, of course, but don't make things worse for the living.
Carry on as before.
Offer support the the refugees trying to escape from these people.
Look after your friends, family, and neighbours. (Especially those who peacefully practice Islam, they need the support right now too.)
Help out if you can.
But apart from that, do nothing.
All my love goes out to those affected by the attacks France, Lebanon, Chad, Cameroon, and Nigeria, to name some of the most recent ones. I hope life can resume for normal for you all as soon as possible.
Friday, 13 November 2015
Fax Machine Time Travel
Hello hello children, adults, and those lost somewhere in the middle. I've been having a lovely time in Germany since I last wrote on here, with lots of good times seeing friends and doing interesting things with my life. Last weekend I met some uni friends in Frankfurt, and we had a great catch up, as people who haven't seen each other for six months often do.
Anyway, I've got a ponderance. It's something I've been thinking about for a while and have decided to put into words now.
As many of you will be aware, the "Back to the Future" films go forward to this year. The story takes Marty and Doc Brown forward in time to 21st October 2015, to see how Marty's children have grown up. This, coupled with the popular Internet expression "If nobody from the future comes back to stop you, how bad can your idea be?" (or whatever it is) have led me to thinking about time travel.
You see, I've been alive for 20 years now, and it's reasonable to suggest that that's a fair window of time for someone going back in time to choose. Therefore, it doesn't make sense that nobody has met a time traveller. There are people who have been alive far longer than me who have also yet to meet anyone from he future who's come back for whatever reason.
This leaves us with two suggestions: either time travel is impossible and will never be invented, or there is something stopping time travellers from coming back so "far".
If we are optimistic and assume that time travel is entirely possible once the technology has been properly developed, we have to then ask why nobody has ever met a time traveller. Of course, I'm assuming that there must be a level of secrecy which goes without saying; if you tell the wrong person that time travel is possible, you'd cause a riot. Especially when so much information is shared in the way it is online nowadays. However, what if there's another reason? What if the reason nobody can come back in time to see us is because we haven't invented time travel yet?
Think about it. If we don't have the technology to send a person through time, what on earth makes people think we could receive someone who's travel through time? Think of it like accidentally calling a fax machine from a phone. The two technologies are incompatible and one is significantly more high tech than the other, which is why the person making the call will hear a lot of static and what sounds like a dialup broadband tone. The fax machine just doesn't have the capability to receive a voice.
This would mean that, at least to begin with, time travellers would only be able to go forward in time. If there is no chance of a receiving platform going back in time, then the only other option is to go somewhere where the technology is as good, if not better.
In my opinion, this doesn't mean that time travel is a worthless goal. Imagine how useful/terrifying it would be to be able to find out about the future, especially if you could only travel forward to a certain point... To me, it would suggest we should keep working towards this goal (if we even still think it's possible) to allow people from the future more range of times to travel back to.
However, the Internet quote about being stopped by someone from the future is still erroneous. Everyone knows that making mistakes is one of the best ways to learn and improve. For example, I'm now never going to forget that Käse, Tee, and Name are all masculine nouns (despite ending in "e" - Mr Whelan lied) because I've made that mistake so many times, it's now impossible to forget. Equally, I will now always remember Mecklenburg Vorpommern, because it was the only Bundesland I couldn't name last time I tried. Mistakes are a great thing. Look how much history repeats itself anyway. Without certain events, we would never learn not to do things (like communism - although I still think that could work if everyone embraced it properly and the leader was willing to step down).
I guess what I'm trying to say, in my waffly and roundabout way, is that time travel is a brilliant idea, but it's like phoning a fax machine at the moment. We need to explore the possibilities further in order to allow it. Although I'm not a scientist, so I guess it may well just be horse apples.
Cool.
Also, if anyone wants to use this idea (probably in fiction, rather than research ;) ) please quote me as the original source. I'd love to have done something useful with my brain drivel.
See you around. Much love xx
Sunday, 11 October 2015
Exercise is Good for You, Laziness is Not.
So. I went for a jog this morning. I've been wanting to go for a while but I've been putting it off and things keep getting in the way. It's the first time I've been for a proper jog and it's something I've been pondering for weeks. So here's my first person account, so that none of you ever have to do it.
First of all, it was 1 degree this morning. Just one. Physically, I wasn't that cold. But the air was dreadful. After about five minutes I could feel the outline of my lungs in my chest from the freezing cold air that was going into them. This carried on for the rest of my time outside, and then until I'd been in the shower for at least five minutes. The inhalations made my teeth ache from so much cold air moving past them. And my throat still hurts hours later.
I was surprisingly cold, given the sport I'd been doing, probably as a result of the weather. This didn't extend to my face and ears though, I have to say. The blood was pulsing so hard in my face that my head was physically moving with the force of it, and the rest of me was shaking uncontrollably. My eyesight got blurry from a combination of actual tiredness and physical exhaustion.
Apart from weird things like teeth and some muscle pains in my lower abs (which could be from scouts or something anyway) I didn't have any other aches or hurting. Which I was actually very surprised about. I'd expect my legs to hurt after jogging, but they didn't.*
It may have been awful, but I did it. I went out and I deliberately did sport. I'm sort of proud, and sort of glad because now, even though I probably won't do it again for a while, I've done it and I know how to improve. To be honest, I think I prefer cycling or swimming. I might have to start going after work with James the Praktikant (if he'll take me?) or spending my time more wisely at the weekends.
Still, now you all know what it's like, and you don't have to go and experience it for yourselves any time soon!
*NEXT DAY EDIT: Everything aches from my bellybutton down.
First of all, it was 1 degree this morning. Just one. Physically, I wasn't that cold. But the air was dreadful. After about five minutes I could feel the outline of my lungs in my chest from the freezing cold air that was going into them. This carried on for the rest of my time outside, and then until I'd been in the shower for at least five minutes. The inhalations made my teeth ache from so much cold air moving past them. And my throat still hurts hours later.
I was surprisingly cold, given the sport I'd been doing, probably as a result of the weather. This didn't extend to my face and ears though, I have to say. The blood was pulsing so hard in my face that my head was physically moving with the force of it, and the rest of me was shaking uncontrollably. My eyesight got blurry from a combination of actual tiredness and physical exhaustion.
Apart from weird things like teeth and some muscle pains in my lower abs (which could be from scouts or something anyway) I didn't have any other aches or hurting. Which I was actually very surprised about. I'd expect my legs to hurt after jogging, but they didn't.*
It may have been awful, but I did it. I went out and I deliberately did sport. I'm sort of proud, and sort of glad because now, even though I probably won't do it again for a while, I've done it and I know how to improve. To be honest, I think I prefer cycling or swimming. I might have to start going after work with James the Praktikant (if he'll take me?) or spending my time more wisely at the weekends.
Still, now you all know what it's like, and you don't have to go and experience it for yourselves any time soon!
*NEXT DAY EDIT: Everything aches from my bellybutton down.
Tuesday, 25 August 2015
Top Ten Songs which are good, but have the craziest lyrics you've ever heard in your life.
Good day, Internet, how are we this fine morning? ... Yes ... Really? .... Oh, that's good! I'm pleased to hear that. Today's ponderance stems from the increased amount of time I've spent listening to my iPod recently; I apparently know a lot of songs with crazy lyrics. I mean, I think it's great, but you can't walk down the road singing "From meths and gin I feel the sin, like wheels upon my feet." (Name that tune?) So I've made a list. It's a top ten, inasmuch as there are ten things on it. They're not really in a proper order, it's just the order I thought of them in.
[SIDEBAR: I wanted to include Ein Kompliment by Sportfreunde Stiller in this list, but I didn't because most of my readers are English speaking (as a first language), and I didn't think they'd understand "Wenn man so willst bist du... mein Süßigkeitswahrabteilung im Supermarkt", even though it's one of the most excellent lyrics ever. (Englishers, it means "You are my confectionary aisle in the Supermarket", of course... Just in case you couldn't guess!) /END SIDEBAR]
So here we go:
Performed by: Frank Crumit (originally)
Describe it in five words: Blokes fight, listen really carefully.
Short Synopsis: This is a song about two men, one from Russia and one from somewhere else, who bump into each other in the street (literally) and then set about fighting. As you do. As this song is a story, I won't ruin the end, but the guys' names alone are worth listening to this song for.
Favourite Line: "By this I imply you are going to die, Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar!" (How else is your opponent to know that you're trash talking them?)
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7GgmOdHDog (I prefer the Peter Skellern Version, so I've posted that, it's just not the original.)
See also: I'm a Pink Toothbrush by Max Bygraves. It's a similar children's story theme.
2. Wilbury Twist
Performed by: The Travelling Wilburys
Describe it in five words: Brand new dance to learn.
Short Synopsis: It really is just a set of instructions for a dance. It's on this list because I think you might end up in hospital if you followed them all. Twice.
Favourite Line: "It could be years before you're missed, Everybody's trying to do the Wilbury Twist." (Anything else would give it away.)
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjSmgSdFASk (with lyrics, so you can follow the moves easily!)
See also: Dirty World by the Travelling Wilburys. I've never been embarrassed by the words "red bell peppers" before.
3. Leap Up and Down (wave your knickers in the air)
Performed by: St Cecilia
Describe it in five words: Seriously, try it some time.
Short Synopsis: A shy girl is looking for a way to attract herself a gentleman. She comes up with a novel way to do it. It's only recommended in the summer.
Favourite line: "Leap up and down, wave your knickers in the air!" (duh!)
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoDZbZfnG7c (I can't find anything better, but you can hear the words.)
See also: Tiger Feet by Mud. It's kind of similar. And whoever heard of someone having the feet of a big cat?
4. Nice Legs, Shame About the Face
Performed by: The Monks
Describe it in five words: Expected misogyny, but pleasantly surprised.
Short Synopsis: The singer goes on a blind date with a girl his friend says is good looking. He is disappointed by the outcome. Again, this one is a nice story, so I won't spoil the ending.
Favourite line: "Nice legs, shame about the boat race."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgKv-6Yyd2g
See also: Saturday Gigs by Mott the Hoople. Vaguely similar topic matter? They both cover going out?
5. Reasons to be Cheerful (pt. 3)
Performed by: Ian Dury and the Blockheads
Describe it in five words: "Whydoncha get back into bed?"
Short Synopsis: A list of things that make the singer cheerful. They range wildly between the everyday and the extraordinary.
Favourite line: "Saying okey-dokey, sing-a-long a Smokie, Coming outta chokey" (anyone who's ever sang along with Smokey will probably know why.)
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcjh1a9Yoao *LANGUAGE WARNING*
See also: Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick by Ian Dury and the Blockheads. Equally weird lyrics, just fewer of them.
6. The Myths and Legends of King Merton Womble and his Journey to the Centre of the Earth
Performed by: The Wombles
Describe it in five words: The longest title ever (possibly).
Short Synopsis: It's another story. This one is about the great and glorious King Merton Womble and his quest to have a picnic at the centre of the Earth. Casual. I won't ruin the ending.
Favourite line: "I wonder if ever a Womble king put down his tidy bag and extricated from a stone the sword Exscallywag."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKWH9EP1MoU
See also: Anything by the Wombles. All their songs have excellent stories to them. I particularly like Wombling White Tie and Tails.
7. Jilted John
Performed by: Jilted John
Describe it in five words: "Gordon is a moron." Well...
Short Synopsis: The terribly sad tale of poor John who is chucked by his girl Julie in favour of a gentleman called Gordon, of whom the singer does not approve. Poor Gordon.
Favourite line: "I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN45OjB-cCU (Looks like nobody told him you're meant to mime on TOTP.)
See also: You Broke My Heart by the Lovebites. One of my all-time favourite songs not written by Roy Wood. Teenage heartbreak and electric guitars. Why the heck not?
8. The Funky Gibbon
Performed by: The Goodies
Describe it in five words: Bill Oddie was a popstar?
Short Synopsis: There's not a lot more to say about this. Another dance song, this time by the Goodies. How to dance like a gibbon.
Favourite line: "Drop one arm down by your knees, let the other arm reach up to the trees."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXq8rELhUkw (Ignore Steve Wright. He thinks he's funny.)
See also: Walking the Dog by Rufus Thomas. A soul classic which teaches you to dance like you're walking a dog.
9. Cherry Blossom Clinic (Revisited)
Performed by: The Move
Describe it in five words: Mental Asylum. More tea, vicar?
Short Synopsis: You didn't really think I'd get all the way through this list without a Woody song, did you? A Roy is for life, not just for Christmas! A song about someone who's woken up to find himself locked away for his own safety. Thought provoking (for me at least) and mad as a squirrel in a raincoat.
Favourite line: "Lock me in and throw the key away."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHAzNU4Vsus (The original is only three minutes, but I like this version better. Listen in stereo if possible.)
See also: Most things by Roy Wood have excellent lyrics. Going Down the Road is pretty impressive though. Very political. But also Scottish reggae.
10. Ne Ne Na Na Nu Nu
Performed by: Bad Manners
Describe it in five words: If possible, ask Short Chris.
Short Synopsis: This is an excellent song with limited words. The other bonus is that the few words that are repeated will fit very happily to any tune. Also, and I can't stress this enough, LAUGHING SAXOPHONE SOLO.
Favourite line: "Ne ne ne ne na na nu nu!"
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUWOAJ0My9I
See also: Scruff the Huffy Chuffy Tugboat by Bad Manners (*LANGUAGE WARNING*). A super duper excellent song. But if you don't like it, try anything else by Bad Manners or Madness, it's all insane.
Well, that's it. If anyone actually likes these lists of music, I can do others by mood, theme, instruments, whatever. If not, I'll go back to drivelling on about Germany and Scouts and things.
Emmatt Update: I realise there's not been one of these in a while, so to put you at ease, here's one. Matt and I are still together, nearly two years now (how he does it, I'll never know!) The distance is once again proving bothersome, as is the fact that I'm now at work all day. But we're still spending time chatting and whatnot, so fingers crossed! :)
[SIDEBAR: I wanted to include Ein Kompliment by Sportfreunde Stiller in this list, but I didn't because most of my readers are English speaking (as a first language), and I didn't think they'd understand "Wenn man so willst bist du... mein Süßigkeitswahrabteilung im Supermarkt", even though it's one of the most excellent lyrics ever. (Englishers, it means "You are my confectionary aisle in the Supermarket", of course... Just in case you couldn't guess!) /END SIDEBAR]
So here we go:
Performed by: Frank Crumit (originally)
Describe it in five words: Blokes fight, listen really carefully.
Short Synopsis: This is a song about two men, one from Russia and one from somewhere else, who bump into each other in the street (literally) and then set about fighting. As you do. As this song is a story, I won't ruin the end, but the guys' names alone are worth listening to this song for.
Favourite Line: "By this I imply you are going to die, Count Ivan Skavinsky Skavar!" (How else is your opponent to know that you're trash talking them?)
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7GgmOdHDog (I prefer the Peter Skellern Version, so I've posted that, it's just not the original.)
See also: I'm a Pink Toothbrush by Max Bygraves. It's a similar children's story theme.
2. Wilbury Twist
Performed by: The Travelling Wilburys
Describe it in five words: Brand new dance to learn.
Short Synopsis: It really is just a set of instructions for a dance. It's on this list because I think you might end up in hospital if you followed them all. Twice.
Favourite Line: "It could be years before you're missed, Everybody's trying to do the Wilbury Twist." (Anything else would give it away.)
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjSmgSdFASk (with lyrics, so you can follow the moves easily!)
See also: Dirty World by the Travelling Wilburys. I've never been embarrassed by the words "red bell peppers" before.
3. Leap Up and Down (wave your knickers in the air)
Performed by: St Cecilia
Describe it in five words: Seriously, try it some time.
Short Synopsis: A shy girl is looking for a way to attract herself a gentleman. She comes up with a novel way to do it. It's only recommended in the summer.
Favourite line: "Leap up and down, wave your knickers in the air!" (duh!)
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoDZbZfnG7c (I can't find anything better, but you can hear the words.)
See also: Tiger Feet by Mud. It's kind of similar. And whoever heard of someone having the feet of a big cat?
4. Nice Legs, Shame About the Face
Performed by: The Monks
Describe it in five words: Expected misogyny, but pleasantly surprised.
Short Synopsis: The singer goes on a blind date with a girl his friend says is good looking. He is disappointed by the outcome. Again, this one is a nice story, so I won't spoil the ending.
Favourite line: "Nice legs, shame about the boat race."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgKv-6Yyd2g
See also: Saturday Gigs by Mott the Hoople. Vaguely similar topic matter? They both cover going out?
5. Reasons to be Cheerful (pt. 3)
Performed by: Ian Dury and the Blockheads
Describe it in five words: "Whydoncha get back into bed?"
Short Synopsis: A list of things that make the singer cheerful. They range wildly between the everyday and the extraordinary.
Favourite line: "Saying okey-dokey, sing-a-long a Smokie, Coming outta chokey" (anyone who's ever sang along with Smokey will probably know why.)
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcjh1a9Yoao *LANGUAGE WARNING*
See also: Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick by Ian Dury and the Blockheads. Equally weird lyrics, just fewer of them.
6. The Myths and Legends of King Merton Womble and his Journey to the Centre of the Earth
Performed by: The Wombles
Describe it in five words: The longest title ever (possibly).
Short Synopsis: It's another story. This one is about the great and glorious King Merton Womble and his quest to have a picnic at the centre of the Earth. Casual. I won't ruin the ending.
Favourite line: "I wonder if ever a Womble king put down his tidy bag and extricated from a stone the sword Exscallywag."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKWH9EP1MoU
See also: Anything by the Wombles. All their songs have excellent stories to them. I particularly like Wombling White Tie and Tails.
7. Jilted John
Performed by: Jilted John
Describe it in five words: "Gordon is a moron." Well...
Short Synopsis: The terribly sad tale of poor John who is chucked by his girl Julie in favour of a gentleman called Gordon, of whom the singer does not approve. Poor Gordon.
Favourite line: "I was so upset that I cried all the way to the chip shop."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN45OjB-cCU (Looks like nobody told him you're meant to mime on TOTP.)
See also: You Broke My Heart by the Lovebites. One of my all-time favourite songs not written by Roy Wood. Teenage heartbreak and electric guitars. Why the heck not?
8. The Funky Gibbon
Performed by: The Goodies
Describe it in five words: Bill Oddie was a popstar?
Short Synopsis: There's not a lot more to say about this. Another dance song, this time by the Goodies. How to dance like a gibbon.
Favourite line: "Drop one arm down by your knees, let the other arm reach up to the trees."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXq8rELhUkw (Ignore Steve Wright. He thinks he's funny.)
See also: Walking the Dog by Rufus Thomas. A soul classic which teaches you to dance like you're walking a dog.
9. Cherry Blossom Clinic (Revisited)
Performed by: The Move
Describe it in five words: Mental Asylum. More tea, vicar?
Short Synopsis: You didn't really think I'd get all the way through this list without a Woody song, did you? A Roy is for life, not just for Christmas! A song about someone who's woken up to find himself locked away for his own safety. Thought provoking (for me at least) and mad as a squirrel in a raincoat.
Favourite line: "Lock me in and throw the key away."
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHAzNU4Vsus (The original is only three minutes, but I like this version better. Listen in stereo if possible.)
See also: Most things by Roy Wood have excellent lyrics. Going Down the Road is pretty impressive though. Very political. But also Scottish reggae.
10. Ne Ne Na Na Nu Nu
Performed by: Bad Manners
Describe it in five words: If possible, ask Short Chris.
Short Synopsis: This is an excellent song with limited words. The other bonus is that the few words that are repeated will fit very happily to any tune. Also, and I can't stress this enough, LAUGHING SAXOPHONE SOLO.
Favourite line: "Ne ne ne ne na na nu nu!"
Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUWOAJ0My9I
See also: Scruff the Huffy Chuffy Tugboat by Bad Manners (*LANGUAGE WARNING*). A super duper excellent song. But if you don't like it, try anything else by Bad Manners or Madness, it's all insane.
Well, that's it. If anyone actually likes these lists of music, I can do others by mood, theme, instruments, whatever. If not, I'll go back to drivelling on about Germany and Scouts and things.
Emmatt Update: I realise there's not been one of these in a while, so to put you at ease, here's one. Matt and I are still together, nearly two years now (how he does it, I'll never know!) The distance is once again proving bothersome, as is the fact that I'm now at work all day. But we're still spending time chatting and whatnot, so fingers crossed! :)
Friday, 7 August 2015
Arrival in the Land of the Free and the Home Of The Daft.
That title refers to two separate places, by the way.
As you may know, folks, I have recently "upped sticks" and wandered my way over to Germany. It was a good decision. I'm glad I made this decision. Even though the weather is too hot to function.
After a week and a half of living in a Youth Hostel, I finally moved into my actual flat last Thursday. It's great. I get my own bedroom, and food, and a bathroom... And I'm living with a dude*, which is new and weird. You don't think it's going to be a big deal until you realise there are certain things you can't do any more. Don't get me wrong; I shared a house last year and I know how to be a vaguely tolerable housemate. I don't walk around naked or anything, and nobody has ever walked in on me in the bath. But there really are things you take for granted when you live with four other girls that you can't do if you're sharing with a guy.
Anyway, that's not what I was pondering. I was actually pondering the small differences that exist between life in Germany and life in the UK. They're silly things really, stuff you'd never even think of. But they exist nonetheless, and they make everything seem that little bit more alien. Here is my rundown:
After a week and a half of living in a Youth Hostel, I finally moved into my actual flat last Thursday. It's great. I get my own bedroom, and food, and a bathroom... And I'm living with a dude*, which is new and weird. You don't think it's going to be a big deal until you realise there are certain things you can't do any more. Don't get me wrong; I shared a house last year and I know how to be a vaguely tolerable housemate. I don't walk around naked or anything, and nobody has ever walked in on me in the bath. But there really are things you take for granted when you live with four other girls that you can't do if you're sharing with a guy.
Anyway, that's not what I was pondering. I was actually pondering the small differences that exist between life in Germany and life in the UK. They're silly things really, stuff you'd never even think of. But they exist nonetheless, and they make everything seem that little bit more alien. Here is my rundown:
 |
| They say you never forget your first - Braunschweig's Amplemann. |
Crossing the Road
This might seem like a weird one, but it's a serious consideration here. Jaywalking is illegal, with an on-the-spot fine of up to 25€ (as far as I remember), which is particularly enforced if you're caught doing it in front of children. Some days, this can add five to ten minutes onto my walk into work. You don't realise how often you cross a road before the lights go green in the UK. And it's a pain in the tush if there's no traffic coming and you still can't go. (Equally, traffic turning right onto the road you're crossing can still turn right. It just has to not hit you in the process, even if the little green man is showing.)
Also, I've found my first real life Ampelmännchen. :D EXCITING!
This might seem like a weird one, but it's a serious consideration here. Jaywalking is illegal, with an on-the-spot fine of up to 25€ (as far as I remember), which is particularly enforced if you're caught doing it in front of children. Some days, this can add five to ten minutes onto my walk into work. You don't realise how often you cross a road before the lights go green in the UK. And it's a pain in the tush if there's no traffic coming and you still can't go. (Equally, traffic turning right onto the road you're crossing can still turn right. It just has to not hit you in the process, even if the little green man is showing.)
Also, I've found my first real life Ampelmännchen. :D EXCITING!
People
This is the bit where I talk about the dude I'm living with. He is the MOST GERMAN man I have ever met. Seriously. How is anyone even that German? His surname takes up two lines of space on the letterbox. He wears almost entirely black and listens to scary metal music. He does one of the most efficient sounding jobs I have ever heard of. He drives a van (I don't know why I find this particularly German, I just do) and last week he literally ate a singular sausage with mustard for dinner. He even suffers from what my father affectionately calls "The German Affliction" (smoking).
And the lady dudes at work aren't much less stereotypical. They've all got incredibly German names, like Annika and Britta, and they do that German lady thing of always wearing scarves and vests and getting into work really early to make sure they reserve their desks with towels...
Plus, most conversations I have with them are about food. Or alcohol.**
Stereotypes. They really do exist for a reason.
This is the bit where I talk about the dude I'm living with. He is the MOST GERMAN man I have ever met. Seriously. How is anyone even that German? His surname takes up two lines of space on the letterbox. He wears almost entirely black and listens to scary metal music. He does one of the most efficient sounding jobs I have ever heard of. He drives a van (I don't know why I find this particularly German, I just do) and last week he literally ate a singular sausage with mustard for dinner. He even suffers from what my father affectionately calls "The German Affliction" (smoking).
And the lady dudes at work aren't much less stereotypical. They've all got incredibly German names, like Annika and Britta, and they do that German lady thing of always wearing scarves and vests and getting into work really early to make sure they reserve their desks with towels...
Plus, most conversations I have with them are about food. Or alcohol.**
Stereotypes. They really do exist for a reason.
Breakfast
What sort of self-respecting country eats breakfast off a board? Germany, that's who.
What sort of self-respecting country eats breakfast off a board? Germany, that's who.
Pasta
Apparently, pasta sauce made of beetroot, hotdog and whatever other vegetables and spices you have in the sparsely-stocked kitchen is a typical DDR meal. Apparently.
I'm not sure I believe that but, unlike some people around here, I wasn't actually born in the DDR. Something something communist rant.
(It was actually really tasty, I just wasn't expecting it.)
Apparently, pasta sauce made of beetroot, hotdog and whatever other vegetables and spices you have in the sparsely-stocked kitchen is a typical DDR meal. Apparently.
I'm not sure I believe that but, unlike some people around here, I wasn't actually born in the DDR. Something something communist rant.
(It was actually really tasty, I just wasn't expecting it.)
Mealtime Manners
You don't eat until everyone has their food. Obviously this is the same in the UK, but you always get the sort of "please start, don't all wait on ceremony" fandango going on. In Germany, you wait until everyone is seated and ready to actually begin the eating process, then you say "Guten Appetit" and then you eat. It's nice really, then everyone feels like they're included. (NB. My main experience of this is in a cafeteria, where you have to wait for everyone to sit down with their food.)
Flexitime
Awesome. This is a great idea. I know it exists in the UK, but it seems to be more common/widespread here. There are certain "core times" that you have to work (where I am it's between 10:00 and 15:00), but otherwise you can do whatever, as long as you average your total number of hours per week.
The only problem I have with flexitime is that I don't always have enough to do at the moment. Because we're not in our peak season, there isn't always enough work for me to be getting on with. This means that there is a lot of time where I have to make my own work to ensure I'm filling the minimum requirement for the week and not slacking off at 4:30 every day. Regardless of what my workload is, my hours are still the same.
Supermarket checkouts
Anyone who's used Lidl or Aldi in the UK will have a vague idea of how this works. German supermarkets don't usually have that nice long space at the end of the checkout that means you can take a bit of time packing your bags. Everything is thrown at you and pay is demanded as soon as the cashier is done. If you're not packed by then, you're in the way of the next person.
However, unlike in the UK, the person behind you is probably not going to be sympathetic of the fact that you're only twenty and haven't had to do your own shopping for much longer than a year.
You're a strong German woman, mein Gott, can't you go any faster?
I'm not German, I'm a Brit. I get sunburn and I apologise for literally everything.
Literally.
Sorry.
Achso ja, that's it really. They're the ones that immediately spring to mind. I'm sure there are others, like not walking in the cycle lanes, but you'll probably hear about those over time. My plan isn't to turn this blog into a year abroad blog, but I am now living in Germany, so you'll have to get used to the fact that I'm going to talk about German things a lot. ("What's new?" I hear you say. Yes, I can hear you through the internet.)
*I often use "dude" as an agender epithet, but for the purposes of this blog post, "dude" is male and "Lady dude" is female. I don't have to refer to anyone of any other gender in this post. When I do, I'll think of something.
** I'm fully aware that these aren't all standard German stereotypes, but they exist a lot throughout Germany, so I'm using them.
EDIT: Daniel gave up Smoking about two months ago, and he's doing really well. He's not killed anyone yet or anything.
EDIT: Daniel gave up Smoking about two months ago, and he's doing really well. He's not killed anyone yet or anything.
Thursday, 21 May 2015
Fame At Last?
Hello dear reader(s), and welcome back! I just have one thing for you today, although I'm hoping to have several posts out in the near future. Today I am pondering the idea that I am now famous :)
Well, sort of.
Earlier this academic year, i.e. before Christmas, I enrolled on a module called "Fremdsprachen; Lernen und Lehren" (Teaching and Learning Foreign Languages for those who don't speak German). The aims of this module were to teach us about theories of language acquisition, to explore second language development at various ages, and to essentially teach us how to teach. It was a great module, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who gets the chance to do it (so, German Studies students at Nottingham Uni.) Despite initial worries that it was just a module aimed at German learners to remind us that our only job prospect was teaching (yeah, right), it was actually very informative and interesting in itself.
The assessment for this class was an essay, but the formative assessment, carried out halfway through the module to ascertain how well we were coping with the content, was to create teaching materials for a Beginners' German first year class. We had the option, in groups, of either preparing a lecture and presenting it, or making a video. I worked with Jordan, and we made a video exploring the difficult pronunciations found in German, which just don't exist in English. Our video was, somehow, a resounding success. Sascha, who ran the module, absolutely loved it (far more than we did!) and this made us all very happy.
A few weeks ago Jordan and I received an email from Sascha, asking if he could use our video as part of a report on the module's success, with a link being put on the University's website. We of course said yes. You know, whatever makes you happy, Sascha.
Oddly, this has ended with two people, so far, sending me links to my own video, telling me I'm famous. Well, two is hardly thousands, and I don't really need a link to the video - I'm in it! But it's nice to be recognised. By my housemates.
Anyway, here's the link to the original blog, if you fancy a read. The video link is on there:
http://blogs.nottingham.ac.uk/clas/2015/05/21/flipped-roles-german-students-as-teachers/
Much love xx
Well, sort of.
Earlier this academic year, i.e. before Christmas, I enrolled on a module called "Fremdsprachen; Lernen und Lehren" (Teaching and Learning Foreign Languages for those who don't speak German). The aims of this module were to teach us about theories of language acquisition, to explore second language development at various ages, and to essentially teach us how to teach. It was a great module, and I would highly recommend it to anyone who gets the chance to do it (so, German Studies students at Nottingham Uni.) Despite initial worries that it was just a module aimed at German learners to remind us that our only job prospect was teaching (yeah, right), it was actually very informative and interesting in itself.
The assessment for this class was an essay, but the formative assessment, carried out halfway through the module to ascertain how well we were coping with the content, was to create teaching materials for a Beginners' German first year class. We had the option, in groups, of either preparing a lecture and presenting it, or making a video. I worked with Jordan, and we made a video exploring the difficult pronunciations found in German, which just don't exist in English. Our video was, somehow, a resounding success. Sascha, who ran the module, absolutely loved it (far more than we did!) and this made us all very happy.
A few weeks ago Jordan and I received an email from Sascha, asking if he could use our video as part of a report on the module's success, with a link being put on the University's website. We of course said yes. You know, whatever makes you happy, Sascha.
 |
| From Helen |
Oddly, this has ended with two people, so far, sending me links to my own video, telling me I'm famous. Well, two is hardly thousands, and I don't really need a link to the video - I'm in it! But it's nice to be recognised. By my housemates.
Anyway, here's the link to the original blog, if you fancy a read. The video link is on there:
http://blogs.nottingham.ac.uk/clas/2015/05/21/flipped-roles-german-students-as-teachers/
Much love xx
Saturday, 9 May 2015
For Reference, Next Time You're At A Pub Quiz
Hello my dear children, today I am in Sheffield, and pondering Bell Ringing. Again. Because we're here bell ringing and that's what we ponder.
I thought I'd share with you all today some useful pub quiz knowledge in the form of bell method names. A bell method is the pattern you follow when ringing that tells you when you're supposed to ring your bell and who you should follow. The names of these patterns are a) hilarious, and b) informative. For example, if you're ringing "To the Pub Doubles", it's funny because at some point someone will shout "Go: To The Pub" at you, and informative because you know it'll be rung on five bells.
"How do you know this?", I hear you cry. It's simple really, each number of bells has a different name, which is useful, but doesn't make a lot of sense.
It goes like this:
Three bells: Singles
Four bells: Minimus
Five bells: Doubles
Six bells: Minor
Seven bells: Triples
Eight bells: Major
Nine bells: Caters
Ten bells: Royal
Eleven bells: Cinques
Twelve bells: Maximus
Four bells: Minimus
Five bells: Doubles
Six bells: Minor
Seven bells: Triples
Eight bells: Major
Nine bells: Caters
Ten bells: Royal
Eleven bells: Cinques
Twelve bells: Maximus
After that people just use numbers, because there are so few places with more than twelve bells that these methods hardly ever get rung.
The best way to remember these is to split them into odd- and even-numbered bell methods. That way, you get nice patterns of:
Singles, Doubles, Triples, Caters (from the French for "four"), Cinques (From the French for "five")
and
Minimus, Minor, Major, Royal, Maximus. Which, if you think about it, is a nice little pattern in itself, with the exception of Royal, which always throws me.
Anyway, I hope this information was interesting, or at least wins you a round in a Pub Quiz at some point.
Much love xx
Saturday, 17 January 2015
Feeding Yourself (My Top Ten Tips)
Hello friends, my apologies for not writing recently. Today I was pondering advice I'd give to students trying to cook for themselves for the first time. Recently I've seen a lot of info graphics and posts on healthy eating, and cheap eating and I thought "I could do that. That's how I live. Maybe I should tell people about how I live." Then I though "nobody would read that." But that's what this blog is for; writing things people may never read. So here it is, my top ten tips for living healthily, cheaply and easily in no particular order. Whilst this advice is aimed at students, it's not exclusively for them and can be used by anyone who wants a little guidance.
1. Buy food in bulk.
Seems obvious really. With things like dried foods; rice, pasta, noodles, cereal and dried fruit for example, you can stock up massively. Buying a 5 kg bag of pasta (as long as you have the space for it) is cheaper overall than buying five separate kilo bags of pasta at different times. Things like that certainly won't go off any time soon, so it won't matter how quickly you use them either. Same goes for buying cooking oil, and other basic store cupboard ingredients like teabags, flour and sugar.
Seems obvious really. With things like dried foods; rice, pasta, noodles, cereal and dried fruit for example, you can stock up massively. Buying a 5 kg bag of pasta (as long as you have the space for it) is cheaper overall than buying five separate kilo bags of pasta at different times. Things like that certainly won't go off any time soon, so it won't matter how quickly you use them either. Same goes for buying cooking oil, and other basic store cupboard ingredients like teabags, flour and sugar.
Another great thing to do this with is rolled oats. Oats are great for porridge, which is healthy and filling, for flapjack, which is delicious, and for generally putting with salad or fruit and yogurt, or making your own muesli, which is cheaper and more fun than buying it in a packet.
Similarly, this is true for tinned vegetables, soup, and sauces. For example, I would definitely recommend buying tins of chopped tomatoes for use in basic sauces and meals, as well as having a couple of cans of soups for rainy days where you live in your duvet.
And I'm certainly not saying that you shouldn't buy things like frozen pizzas or ready meals (although I do suggest that you should mix it up on occasion.) Keep a couple of easy meals in the freezer for when you feel sad, lazy or rushed, just don't use them as the majority of your meals if you can help it, especially if you're not cooking vegetables with it. This advice also stands for frozen veg, and oven chips; both are great things to have in your armoury, but I wouldn't use them as your main sources of vitamins and carbohydrates.
2. Cook meals from scratch.
Cooking from scratch puts people off because they say it's time consuming and difficult. That's quatsch. Cooking a simple meal from scratch will take as much time, or less, than putting a frozen pie in the oven. And if you seriously think that cutting up vegetables and a few pieces of meat and throwing them in a pan is difficult, then I don't think I can help you. Sorry. There are several meals that you can cook just by frying off some meat and veg (or boiling if you feel healthy) and then adding sauce. These include chilli, pasta sauce, special fried rice, stew, casserole, chunky broth, stir fry, curry... And anything you fancy making up. I've had some great meals which haven't really been anything, just stuff in a pan that tastes delicious. Get inventive!
The other thing you can cook from scratch is baked goods: buying flour, sugar and butter is far cheaper than buying endless cakes from your local shop. The other alternative is the famous, or perhaps infamous, cake in a mug, or brownie in a mug (Credit to Ali and Mandy for introducing me to this idea). This one is ideal for students, as it's cheap, easy, and quick. Here is my current favourite recipe for such a meal (needs tweaking sometimes): http://www.instructables.com/id/Mug-Brownie/
Cooking from scratch puts people off because they say it's time consuming and difficult. That's quatsch. Cooking a simple meal from scratch will take as much time, or less, than putting a frozen pie in the oven. And if you seriously think that cutting up vegetables and a few pieces of meat and throwing them in a pan is difficult, then I don't think I can help you. Sorry. There are several meals that you can cook just by frying off some meat and veg (or boiling if you feel healthy) and then adding sauce. These include chilli, pasta sauce, special fried rice, stew, casserole, chunky broth, stir fry, curry... And anything you fancy making up. I've had some great meals which haven't really been anything, just stuff in a pan that tastes delicious. Get inventive!
The other thing you can cook from scratch is baked goods: buying flour, sugar and butter is far cheaper than buying endless cakes from your local shop. The other alternative is the famous, or perhaps infamous, cake in a mug, or brownie in a mug (Credit to Ali and Mandy for introducing me to this idea). This one is ideal for students, as it's cheap, easy, and quick. Here is my current favourite recipe for such a meal (needs tweaking sometimes): http://www.instructables.com/id/Mug-Brownie/
3. Cook meals in bulk.
You can cook things in bulk. Most definitely, a totally easy and useful for planning shopping and cooking days in advance. I discovered this one when I accidentally made portions the same size as I would make for several people at home. If you make enough food for four portions, that's four meals out of one set of ingredients. And the extra three portions can be put into Tupperware (definitely get yourself some of that!!!) and either put in the fridge or freezer for a later date when you're feeling too lazy to do anything except stick something in the microwave.
You can cook things in bulk. Most definitely, a totally easy and useful for planning shopping and cooking days in advance. I discovered this one when I accidentally made portions the same size as I would make for several people at home. If you make enough food for four portions, that's four meals out of one set of ingredients. And the extra three portions can be put into Tupperware (definitely get yourself some of that!!!) and either put in the fridge or freezer for a later date when you're feeling too lazy to do anything except stick something in the microwave.
4. Get yourself the right equipment!
This is very important. I'd suggest the bare basics include a wok, a spatula, a sieve, scales, sharp knives, a chopping board and a slo-cooker. All of these things are hugely useful to people trying to cook anything that's not a frozen pizza (more on that later). My suggestion is that you cook things from scratch (see above) and for that you'll need the minimum requirement of one pan. The chopping board is mostly to protect your work surfaces, and for making it easier to move chopped veg from one place to another. Sharp knives are paramount to proper cooking; I struggled through three months with a set of semi-blunt knives, which couldn't even cut a mushroom. I've now invested in some cheap and cheerful knives (*epic manly voice* "from JML") which are far better, and purple (ceramic coated, very easy to clean). Sieves are useful, especially if you've got vegetables for washing, or rice to drain. The slo-cooker is genius, especially if you're very busy. You can prep a meal the night before and just leave it on for as long as you want. It heats up using a ceramic plate inside, so there's no risk of fire; it's designed to be left on for whole days at a time. You can also make puddings in it, but I've not tried that yet.
This is very important. I'd suggest the bare basics include a wok, a spatula, a sieve, scales, sharp knives, a chopping board and a slo-cooker. All of these things are hugely useful to people trying to cook anything that's not a frozen pizza (more on that later). My suggestion is that you cook things from scratch (see above) and for that you'll need the minimum requirement of one pan. The chopping board is mostly to protect your work surfaces, and for making it easier to move chopped veg from one place to another. Sharp knives are paramount to proper cooking; I struggled through three months with a set of semi-blunt knives, which couldn't even cut a mushroom. I've now invested in some cheap and cheerful knives (*epic manly voice* "from JML") which are far better, and purple (ceramic coated, very easy to clean). Sieves are useful, especially if you've got vegetables for washing, or rice to drain. The slo-cooker is genius, especially if you're very busy. You can prep a meal the night before and just leave it on for as long as you want. It heats up using a ceramic plate inside, so there's no risk of fire; it's designed to be left on for whole days at a time. You can also make puddings in it, but I've not tried that yet.
Also, TUPPERWARE!!!!! To prepare and cook in bulk, you will need varying sizes of plastic containers to hold things in. For the best versatility, I suggest something that can be both frozen and microwaved without a problem; but a set of Tupperware like this can still be bought in Poundland. (Another great use of this is as a lunchbox, a great way to save money and eat healthier.)
5. Shop around for the best products.
Obviously, this one depends on where you put the emphasis on your food. If you prefer higher quality food then perhaps you should try and find the best shops, whether they be supermarkets or local independent producers, at the best value for the quality. If you are on a tighter budget, and are less worried about quality then you should consider shopping around different supermarkets in your area; my particular favourite is Lidl, because it offers some cheaper prices on basic foods. Plus it sometimes has weird German things. Anyone who knows me knows how much I like weird German things...
Obviously, this one depends on where you put the emphasis on your food. If you prefer higher quality food then perhaps you should try and find the best shops, whether they be supermarkets or local independent producers, at the best value for the quality. If you are on a tighter budget, and are less worried about quality then you should consider shopping around different supermarkets in your area; my particular favourite is Lidl, because it offers some cheaper prices on basic foods. Plus it sometimes has weird German things. Anyone who knows me knows how much I like weird German things...
6. Choosing meat
This goes for both the cuts of meat and the type you buy. Beef is obviously more expensive than pork or chicken, but it's got nice proteins and things in it, probably. As long as you don't go overboard, there's no reason for you not to have beef on occasions. You don't have to suffer just because your on a budget. Pork can be quite a fatty meat, so you have to be careful to get a good cut, whichever part of the animal you go for (including bacon). Chicken can be good, but turkey is almost exactly the same meat, but healthier and cheaper. If you're making a stew, casserole, or pie, the turkey will work just as well as chicken. When buying cuts of meat, diced beef is more expensive, but of higher quality, than stewing beef. However, if price is a concern, then a stewing beef used for what it is intended, and stewed for several hours, can also be very tender and equally tasty. Back bacon contains more meat (and is thus better value) than streaky bacon, which is mostly fat. The same goes for minced meat; you have to find a balance between fat content and price. With mince, the fattier it is, the more it will shrink with cooking. Chicken or turkey thighs have equally good meat to breasts (tee hee), but cheaper. They can require extra preparation, unless you can find them boned (the hee again) or ask a decent butcher to do it for you.
This goes for both the cuts of meat and the type you buy. Beef is obviously more expensive than pork or chicken, but it's got nice proteins and things in it, probably. As long as you don't go overboard, there's no reason for you not to have beef on occasions. You don't have to suffer just because your on a budget. Pork can be quite a fatty meat, so you have to be careful to get a good cut, whichever part of the animal you go for (including bacon). Chicken can be good, but turkey is almost exactly the same meat, but healthier and cheaper. If you're making a stew, casserole, or pie, the turkey will work just as well as chicken. When buying cuts of meat, diced beef is more expensive, but of higher quality, than stewing beef. However, if price is a concern, then a stewing beef used for what it is intended, and stewed for several hours, can also be very tender and equally tasty. Back bacon contains more meat (and is thus better value) than streaky bacon, which is mostly fat. The same goes for minced meat; you have to find a balance between fat content and price. With mince, the fattier it is, the more it will shrink with cooking. Chicken or turkey thighs have equally good meat to breasts (tee hee), but cheaper. They can require extra preparation, unless you can find them boned (the hee again) or ask a decent butcher to do it for you.
7. Vegetables
I know you might turn up your nose at this bit to begin with, but vegetables are a very cheap way to bulk out food. For example, not only is a chilli with only meat in it basically just a Bolognese, it's also very expensive and won't stretch to more than one or two meals (see below). The obvious things to buy are onions, bell peppers and carrots, but I would also recommend buying celery, and sprouts. No, no, hear me out on this one. Both of these things are ridiculously healthy, massively cheap, and you can't taste them in stews, curries or anything like that. A celery plant costs about 60p, and will be sufficient for at least ten meals. Sprouts are much cheaper than cabbage or cauliflower pound for pound and can be used in smaller portions without fear of spoiling. I fully endorse the extensive use of vegetables in all dishes, both for health reasons, and for costs. I even eat mushrooms now!
I know you might turn up your nose at this bit to begin with, but vegetables are a very cheap way to bulk out food. For example, not only is a chilli with only meat in it basically just a Bolognese, it's also very expensive and won't stretch to more than one or two meals (see below). The obvious things to buy are onions, bell peppers and carrots, but I would also recommend buying celery, and sprouts. No, no, hear me out on this one. Both of these things are ridiculously healthy, massively cheap, and you can't taste them in stews, curries or anything like that. A celery plant costs about 60p, and will be sufficient for at least ten meals. Sprouts are much cheaper than cabbage or cauliflower pound for pound and can be used in smaller portions without fear of spoiling. I fully endorse the extensive use of vegetables in all dishes, both for health reasons, and for costs. I even eat mushrooms now!
8. Flavour
There are very easy and cheap ways to get lots of flavour in your meals. I'd buy a couple of pots of dried spices and herbs to keep in your cupboard, and then use a couple of fresh ingredients. Choose wisely though, there's no point in buying cardamom seeds if you're never going to use them. I can't advise in this area, it depends what you want. Personally, I use chilli powder, curry powder and cinnamon for puddings. As for fresh ingredients, garlic bulbs are very cheap and delicious, as well as versatile. Similarly, lemons are about 30p each, and they can be used for juice and pulp in different contexts; fresh chillies are excellent for adding a bit of flavour (the seeds are the main source of heat, use that information wisely); and root ginger is delicious fresh, and massively cheap too.
Remember what I said about cooking in bulk? That's the same for sauces. Make yourself a batch of this curry sauce ( http://www.grouprecipes.com/36246/healthy-curry-sauce.html ) and freeze or chill it in your Tupperware, it's brilliant, and can be adjusted to your personal tastes. (Where it mentions stock, it doesn't say how much. I reckon one cube in 200ml of boiling water is right.) Which brings me onto my next point...
There are very easy and cheap ways to get lots of flavour in your meals. I'd buy a couple of pots of dried spices and herbs to keep in your cupboard, and then use a couple of fresh ingredients. Choose wisely though, there's no point in buying cardamom seeds if you're never going to use them. I can't advise in this area, it depends what you want. Personally, I use chilli powder, curry powder and cinnamon for puddings. As for fresh ingredients, garlic bulbs are very cheap and delicious, as well as versatile. Similarly, lemons are about 30p each, and they can be used for juice and pulp in different contexts; fresh chillies are excellent for adding a bit of flavour (the seeds are the main source of heat, use that information wisely); and root ginger is delicious fresh, and massively cheap too.
Remember what I said about cooking in bulk? That's the same for sauces. Make yourself a batch of this curry sauce ( http://www.grouprecipes.com/36246/healthy-curry-sauce.html ) and freeze or chill it in your Tupperware, it's brilliant, and can be adjusted to your personal tastes. (Where it mentions stock, it doesn't say how much. I reckon one cube in 200ml of boiling water is right.) Which brings me onto my next point...
9. Stock cubes.
Stock cubes are one of the cheapest and best ways of making food delicious. You know those Ramen packets and super noodles that students are so in love with? Most of the flavour in these overpriced packets of carbs comes from standard stock or bullion cubes, such as OXO (other brands are available.) You can easily make a cheap alternative to the pot noodle by cooking your standard noodles in stock. Same flavour, a fraction of the price. Similarly, if you're making anything which needs any sort of gravy, a stock cube is a great edition to a mix, as it gives an extra flavour that isn't necessarily beef.
Stock cubes are one of the cheapest and best ways of making food delicious. You know those Ramen packets and super noodles that students are so in love with? Most of the flavour in these overpriced packets of carbs comes from standard stock or bullion cubes, such as OXO (other brands are available.) You can easily make a cheap alternative to the pot noodle by cooking your standard noodles in stock. Same flavour, a fraction of the price. Similarly, if you're making anything which needs any sort of gravy, a stock cube is a great edition to a mix, as it gives an extra flavour that isn't necessarily beef.
10. Luxury items.
This one really is a money saving tip, rather than anything else. If you're on a tight budget, then try to stick to supermarket own brands for as much as possible, but let yourself have one or two products which you buy for quality, not price. For me, these are usually fruit juice, which I try to buy not from concentrate and occasionally cuts of meat. I also sometimes buy a jar of Nutella, but to be honest, I sometimes prefer to Lidl own brand, because it tastes more of nuts. So yeah, pick a couple of things, maybe ones that you don't have to buy as often, that you just can't live without and are happier to have quality over cost.
This one really is a money saving tip, rather than anything else. If you're on a tight budget, then try to stick to supermarket own brands for as much as possible, but let yourself have one or two products which you buy for quality, not price. For me, these are usually fruit juice, which I try to buy not from concentrate and occasionally cuts of meat. I also sometimes buy a jar of Nutella, but to be honest, I sometimes prefer to Lidl own brand, because it tastes more of nuts. So yeah, pick a couple of things, maybe ones that you don't have to buy as often, that you just can't live without and are happier to have quality over cost.
That's it really, that's where my "wisdom" runs out. Thanks for reading all the way to the end, sorry it's such a long post! I hope you've learnt something, even if you don't use anything I've said :)
Hope your exams are going well, if you've got them. If not the *loud raspberry noise*. If you're out in the real world, then I hope work is going well and the January blues haven't caught you! Until next time, much love xx
Hope your exams are going well, if you've got them. If not the *loud raspberry noise*. If you're out in the real world, then I hope work is going well and the January blues haven't caught you! Until next time, much love xx
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